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| What's the difference between toast and a Frenchman? You can make soldiers out of toast. |    |
Joke by Guest, in Religion and racism > French - Tagged toast , french , soldiers , frenchman , cheese eating surrender monkeys , france - Current Score: 599 - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago
| Last christmas I got some toy soldiers, To play with when I'm in bed, But I got bored with my seargents and majors, So I played with my privates instead. | |
Joke by pornstar, in Sex and shit > Limerick - Tagged seargent , major , soldiers , christmas , bed - Current Score: 257 - Added: 4 weeks ago
| Three Soldiers are facing their final test, if they pass this test they will be able to join an elite anti-terrorist force. A Drill Sergeant enters the room where the Soldiers are standing to attention. He barks the question at them "DO YOU LOVE YOUR COUNTRY!?" "SIR, YES, SIR!" the Soldiers reply in unison. "DO YOU LOVE YOUR WIVES?!" the Drill Sergeant yells. "SIR, YES, SIR!" the Soldiers reply in unison again. "WHAT DO YOU LOVE MORE!? YOUR COUNTRY OR YOUR WIFE!?" the Drill Sergeant inquires. "SIR, MY COUNTRY, SIR!" the Soldiers reply in unison. "WELL THEN MAGGOTS! PROVE IT!" he shouts before giving each soldier a handgun and leading them into the next room which contains three doors, the Drill Sergeant puts each Soldier in front of a door. "Your wife is in the room in front of you" he tells all of the soldiers "as a member of an anti-terroist organisation you have no room for weaknesses!, take your guns and KILL YOUR WIVES!" One Soldier breaks down immediately and rushes into the room to retrieve his wife, they leave together. The second Soldier takes his gun and walks into the room, after about five minutes he comes back out with his wife looking very pale "I couldn't do it" he says and leaves with his wife. The third Soldier walks into the room and after about four minutes a loud bang is heard which echoes throughout the hallways immediately afterwards however there is suddenly a lot of loud crashing and screaming. The Soldier comes out of the room looking very pleased with himself. "WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED!?" the Drill Sergeant demands. The Soldier replies "the gun was loaded with blanks, so I had to beat her to death with the chair!" | |
Joke by D dude, in Jokes with no home > Soldiers - Tagged soldiers - Current Score: 56 - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago
| How many GIs does it take to change a lightbulb? Two: One to force an Iraqi to do it and another one to rape his mother. | |
Joke by wadadada, in Religion and racism > Americans - Tagged usa , us army , gi , soldiers , iraq - Current Score: 52 - Added: 6 months, 12 days ago
| Two soldiers were having a chat during their free time. First Soldier: Why did you join the army? Second Soldier: I didn't have a wife and I loved war. So I joined. How about you? Why did you join the army? First Soldier: I had a wife and I loved peace. So I joined. | |
Joke by niggers out, in Illness and mortality > Army - Tagged soldiers , war , peace , wife - Current Score: 35 - Added: 9 months, 22 days ago
| **NEWSFLASH** Five off-duty American soldiers in Baghdad were tragically killed today, when their unmarked car crashed into a roadside tree. Iraqi insurgents believed to have links with Al Qaeda have admitted responsibility claiming they planted it. | |
Joke by buckfasthero, in Jokes with no home > War - Tagged iraq , iraqi , crash , american , soldiers - Current Score: 22 - Added: 6 days ago
| An army of squatters have camped in a military housing estate while soldiers are in Iraq, and are staying put after an attempt to evict them failed. One local resident said, "we have real concerns about noise, late night parties, violence and drug use, so hopefully the squaddies won't be back any time soon." | |
Joke by itchyanus, in Celebrity and news events > News Reports - Tagged squatters , soldiers , iraq - Current Score: 17 - Added: 2 months, 28 days ago
| How come if I'm utterly shit at my job I get given a P45, but the yanks in Iraq get given a Purple Heart? | |
Joke by TGS, in Religion and racism > Americans - Tagged yanks , gis , soldiers , soldier , purple , heart , americans , giving out medals like theyre candy - Current Score: 8 - Added: 2 weeks ago
| A young American wants to enrol in the US Army: ''Son, can you tell the difference between British soldiers and Iraqi insurgents?'' ''Em... No, sir!'' ''Then welcome to the United States Army!'' | |
Joke by gartnavel, in Religion and racism > Americans - Tagged american , americans , friendly fire , soldier , soldiers , army , iraq , iraqi , insurgents , british - Current Score: 2 - Added: 1 month, 9 days ago
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