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| A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?" The survey was a huge failure... In Africa they didn't know what "Food" meant. In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "Honest" meant. In Western Europe they didn't know what "Shortage" meant. In China they didn't know what "Opinion" meant. In the Middle East they didn't know what "Solution" meant. In South America they didn't know what "Please" meant. And in the USA they didn't know what "The rest of the world" meant |    |
Joke by Guest, in Religion and racism > The World - Tagged world , survey , un , africa , eastern , europe , western , china , middle , east , south , america , usa - Current Score: 367 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| A new map of the world has been drawn. The North Pole is at the top, the South Pole is at the bottom and every other fuckin' Pole is in Britain. | |
Joke by Guest, in Religion and racism > Poles / Polish - Tagged britain , pole , south , north - Current Score: 82 - Added: 9 months, 3 days ago
| god sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look Michael, look what I've made." Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?" "It's a planet," replied god, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance." "balance?" inquired Michael, still confused. god explained, pointing to different parts of Earth, "for example, North America will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while South America is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people." god continued, pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot and arid, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice." The Archangel, impressed by god's work, then pointed to a small land mass and said, "What's that one?" "Ah," said god. "That's Britain, the most glorious place on Earth. There are beautiful lakes, rivers, streams, and hills. The people from Britain are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found travelling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard-working and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace." Archangel Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, "What about the balance, god? You said there will be balance!" god replied wisely, "Wait until you see the cunts I'm putting next to them in France." "Yes, to anyone still in disbelief, you're expected to believe the british are 'sociable, hard-working and high-achieving carriers of peace' I suppose the joke wouldn't work if it said 'racist, lazy, benefit scroungers pining for the glory days of slaughtering poorly armed natives by blindly following the yanks into one war after another.' suppose God really is a cunt then eh? | |
Joke by VAGINADINER, in Religion and racism > God - Tagged god , south , england , earth , archangel michael , creation - Current Score: 69 - Added: 9 months, 20 days ago
| Three South Africans, a black and two whites, are in jail, discussing what they're in for. The first white South African is asked what he's in for, to which he replied "Robbery, and I got two years. The judge said it was lucky it wasn't armed robbery, or I'd have got five years." The second white South African is asked next, to which he replied "Sexual assault, and I got 7 years. The judge said it was lucky it wasn't rape, or I'd have got ten years." The black South African is finally asked, to which he replied "Riding my bike without a light, and I got life. The judge said it was lucky it wasn't dark, or I'd be facing a firing squad!" | |
Joke by immortalshadow666, in Religion and racism > South African - Tagged south , african , life , jail , robbery , rape , riding , bike , firing , squad , black , white - Current Score: 46 - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago
| An Aussie, a Kiwi, and a South African are at a bar one night having a beer. All of a sudden the South African drinks his beer, takes off his diamond encrusted watch, pulls out a gun shoots the watch to pieces. He says "In South Afrika we have so many diamonds that we don't need to wear the same diamond twice." The Kiwi (obviously impressed by this) drinks his beer throw his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the glass to pieces. He says "Well mate, in New Zealand we have so much sand to make the glass that we don't need to drink out of the same cup twice ay." The Australian then pulls out his gun and shoots the Kiwi. | |
Joke by immortalshadow666, in Religion and racism > Kiwis - Tagged aussie , kiwi , south , african , shoot , gun , cup , sand , diamond , australian , new zealander , nz , pub , bar - Current Score: 37 - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago
| In South East London there is a rape every hour. I just do a bit of touching up in-between. | |
Joke by justincider, in Sex and shit > Rape - Tagged south , east , london , touching up - Current Score: 11 - Added: 2 months, 9 days ago
| Van der Merwe had never been out of South Africa before and was visiting Bondi Beach, Australia. He spotted a long line of black dots out in the water and said to an Aussie, who was sitting close by, "What are all those little black things out there?" "They're buoys," said the Aussie. "Boys!" replied Van der Merwe. "What are they doing out there?" "Holding up the shark nets," the Aussie told him. "Fucking great country this!" said the South African, deeply impressed. "We'd never get away with that at home!" | |
Joke by welsh twat, in Religion and racism > South African - Tagged south , africa , buoy , shark - Current Score: 9 - Added: 3 months, 23 days ago
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