Sorted by: Highest Scoring | Lowest Scoring | Newest | Oldest
Page 1 of 2 - Next Page
| I parked in a disabled space today and a traffic warden shouted, "Oi, what's your disability?" I said, "Tourettes! Now fuck off you cunt!" |    |
Joke by ht, in Illness and mortality > Tourettes - Tagged disability , cunt , traffic , tourettes , warden , disabled , shouted , fuck , fuck off , parking , space - Current Score: 1148 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| They say that, in a few years time, space travel will be affordable to the masses. I plan on taking my daughter and her friends on a trip. Apparently, in space no-one can hear you scream. | |
Joke by ItchyAnus, in Sex and shit > Paedophilia - Tagged paedo , space - Current Score: 106 - Added: 3 months ago
| When Astronaut Neil Armstrong first walked on the moon, he not only gave his famous one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind statement but followed it by several remarks, usual between him, the other astronauts and Mission Control. Just before he re-entered the lander, however, he made the enigmatic remark, "Good luck Mr. Jones". Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning some rival Soviet Cosmonaut. However, upon checking, there was no Jones in either the Russian or American space programs. Over the years many people questioned Armstrong as to what the Good luck Mr. Jones statement meant, but Armstrong always just smiled. Four years ago, while answering questions following a speech, a reporter brought up the 26 year old question to Armstrong. This time he finally responded. Mr. Jones had finally died and so Neil Armstrong felt he could answer the question. When he was a kid, he was playing baseball with a friend in the backyard. His friend hit a fly ball which landed in the front of his neighbors' bedroom windows. His neighbors were Mr. & Mrs. Jones. As he leaned down to pick up the ball, young Armstrong heard Mrs. Jones shouting at Mr. Jones. "Oral sex? You want oral sex? You'll get oral sex when the kid next door walks on the moon!" | |
Joke by ht, in Jokes with no home > Not Sure - Tagged good luck mr jones , neil armstrong , oral sex , urban myth , not really a joke , space , moon - Current Score: 85 - Added: 1 year ago
| The Moon has no atmosphere. Neither does Skegness, but we don't spend millions of pounds going there to find out. | |
Joke by J-Man, in Jokes with no home > Random - Tagged moon , space , skegness , atmosphere - Current Score: 53 - Added: 3 months ago
| I took my kids to the National Space Centre today. There was fuck all there. | |
Joke by Guest, in Jokes with no home > Kids - Tagged kid , space , are you blind - Current Score: 44 - Added: 6 months, 21 days ago
| NASA are planning to send the first black astronaut into space. The crew of the International Space Station where he will be heading are said to be unable to get a decent shine on their boots. | |
Joke by ItchyAnus, in Religion and racism > Black - Tagged blacks , space , nasa - Current Score: 39 - Added: 2 months, 28 days ago
| A Russian, an American, and a Irishman were talking about how good there countries were. The Russian said, "we were the first in space!" The American said, "we were the first on the moon!" The Irishman said, "so what? We're going to be the first on the sun!" The Russian shook his head and said, "you can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" To which the Irishman replied, "we're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!" | |
Joke by The Wolf, in Religion and racism > Irish - Tagged irish , stupid , space , russian , american , moon , sun - Current Score: 38 - Added: 4 months ago
| What have Stamford Bridge and space got in common? Loads of stars and no atmosphere. | |
Joke by Guest, in Jokes with no home > Sports - Tagged stars , atmosphere , bridge , space , chelsea , football - Current Score: 34 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| I've just seen the footage of the first Chinese in space. That's an impressive delivery service! Mine takes upto an hour to come 3 miles lazy bastards! | |
Joke by RedNolan1984, in Religion and racism > Chinese - Tagged chinese , space , chinese , space - Current Score: 25 - Added: 2 weeks ago
| I've just seen the footage of the first Chinese in space. That's an impressive delivery service! Mine takes upto an hour to come 3 miles lazy bastards! | |
Joke by RedNolan1984, in Religion and racism > Chinese - Tagged chinese , space , chinese , space - Current Score: 25 - Added: 2 weeks ago
Page 1 of 2 - Next Page
Custurd spent 0.21ms doing 12 queries and 0.09s processing. She's 1.51% angry.
Sickipedia v2.7 - a cr3ative media® project. © '05-09 Rob Manuel