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| How do you know if you have a high sperm count? When your wife has to chew before she swallows. |    |
Joke by pornstar, in Sex and shit > Sick - Tagged sperm , chew , wife - Current Score: 1145 - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago
| A 75-year old man went to his doctor's office to get a sperm count. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring me back a sample tomorrow." The next day, the 75-year old man reappears at the doctor's office and gives him the jar, which is as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asks what happened, and the man explains, "Well, first I tried with my right hand, but nothing happened. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand - nothing. Then with her left, still nothing. She even tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with the teeth out, and still nothing. We even called up the lady next door, and she tried with both hands and her mouth too, but nothing." The doctor was shocked. "You asked your NEIGHBOUR?" The old man replied, "Yep, but no matter what we tried, we couldn't get the fucking jar open!" | |
Joke by bobbydgg, in Illness and mortality > Old People - Tagged sperm , nurse , old people - Current Score: 326 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| I've tried to help childless couples by making anonymous donations of my sperm. However, I've now been told I should really be doing this through a clinic and not straight through their letterboxes. | |
Joke by cooperman, in Sex and shit > Wanking - Tagged sperm , masturbation , donor , mr mailman - Current Score: 263 - Added: 10 months, 30 days ago
| Two Irishmen had a nightmare day visting the sperm bank in London. Paddy missed the tube and Murphy came on the bus. | |
Joke by 619no1, in Sex and shit > Sperm - Tagged sperm , bank , cum , london - Current Score: 198 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| A girl takes a dress into the dry cleaners and asks for it to be cleaned. The man, who is a little deaf, says, "come again?" The girl blushes and replies, "NO, IT'S YOGHURT this time." | |
Joke by make_a_brew, in Sex and shit > Sperm - Tagged sperm - Current Score: 188 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| Scientists have discovered that there is intelligent DNA in some women. Unfortunately 95% of them spat it out! | |
Joke by pdf1, in Sex and shit > Sperm - Tagged sperm , sexism - Current Score: 171 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| A blue whale produces over 400 gallons of sperm when it ejaculates. Only 10% of that actually goes into its mate. Ever wondered why the sea tasted so salty? | |
Joke by SoccerGod, in Sex and shit > Sperm - Tagged whale , sperm , semen , sex , qi , alan davies - Current Score: 156 - Added: 1 month, 16 days ago
| Just been down the new sperm bank in town, they actually pay you for your sperm! When I think of all the money I've let slip through my fingers over the years... | |
Joke by mitchy_265, in Sex and shit > Sperm - Tagged sperm , bank , wank , money - Current Score: 144 - Added: 6 months, 10 days ago
| I went to a bukakke party the other day..... I don't know what came over me! | |
Joke by Guest, in Sex and shit > Sperm - Tagged bukakke , cum splattered twat , ian pearce , jizz , baby juice , shoot your load , sperm - Current Score: 138 - Added: 10 months, 6 days ago
| I had an appointment at the sperm bank today, but I had to call up to say I couldn't come. | |
Joke by kitkat456, in Sex and shit > Wanking - Tagged sperm bank , sperm , cum - Current Score: 136 - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago
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