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| A father watched his young daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and pure his little girl was. He thought about her seeing the wonders of nature through such innocent eyes. Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her to see what work of God had captured her attention. He noticed she was looking at two spiders mating. "Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" she asked. "They're mating," her father replied. "What do you call the spider on top?" she asked. "Daddy Longlegs" the father replied "So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?" the little girl asked. As his heart soared with the joy of such a cute and innocent question, He replied "No dear. Both of them are Daddy Longlegs." The little girl, looking a little puzzled, thought for a moment, then, raised her foot and stomped them flat and said, "Well, we're not having any of that Brokeback-Mountain shit in our garden." |    |
Joke by ht, in Sex and shit > Paedophile - Tagged gay , brokeback mountain , spider - Current Score: 141 - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago
| Spider spider on the wall, You think you're smart, you know fuck all, You've climbed a wall that's just been plastered, And now you're stuck you stupid bastard. | |
Joke by chelsea_steve, in Jokes with no home > Nursery Rhymes - Tagged poem , spider - Current Score: 64 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| I came home last night and there was a big spider in the bath. I wouldn't have minded but it'd used all the fucking hot water. | |
Joke by mickle, in Jokes with no home > One Liners - Tagged spider , bath , water , hot - Current Score: 59 - Added: 4 months, 10 days ago
| I was unpacking the groceries when I picked up a bunch of bananas and saw a long hairy leg poking out. Closer inspection revealed it was a very large Brazilian Wandering Spider, the most venemous in the world, and not something you would want to touch. It was obviously dazed from being imported in refrigerated conditions, so I carefully placed the bananas back into the carrier bag and tied the handles. Then I did the sensible thing. I shouted upstairs to my wife, "just off to the pub, darling. Only one last bag to unpack, if you could do the honours." | |
Joke by itchyanus, in Jokes with no home > Spiders - Tagged spider , wife - Current Score: 16 - Added: 2 months, 26 days ago
| I know linking to jokes isn't perhaps the done thing, but if you haven't had this viral appear in your inbox yet, you're really missing out: http://tinyurl.com/6osqq5 Priceless. ITS A SPY SITE << No it's not you jumped-up pillock. It's a smaller url to a jpg. Here's the original: http://i420.photobucket.com/albums/pp284/BlogCoops/Can_I_Have_My_Spider_Back1.jpg Happy now? Twat. | |
Joke by babyballoon, in Jokes with no home > Email - Tagged spider , email , money - Current Score: 14 - Added: 1 week ago
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