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| there once was a vampire called mable, who's periods were heavy but stable, so on a full moon,she got on a spoon, and drank her self under the table |    |
Joke by pornstar, in Sex and shit > Limerick - Tagged vampire , period , spoon - Current Score: 63 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| Two eggs got married. On the wedding night, Mr Egg is lying in bed, when out of the bathroom comes Mrs Egg. She says, "I've just slipped into something a bit more comfortable", she is wearing a see-through bra and panties. Upon seeing this, Mr Egg says, "Right, I'd better go and slip into something more comfy too." When he comes out of the bathroom he is wearing a crash helmet. Mrs Egg says, "What the fuck are you wearing a stupid crash helmet for?" And Mr Egg says, "The last time I was this hard, some bastard hit me over the head with a fucking spoon." | |
Joke by pornstar, in Jokes with no home > Eggs - Tagged egg , mr , mrs , spoon , hard , crash helmet - Current Score: 49 - Added: 2 months ago
| A man entered a restaurant and sat at the only open table. As he sat down, he knocked the spoon off the table with his elbow. A nearby waiter reached into his shirt pocket, pulled out a clean spoon and set it on the table. The diner was impressed. "Do all the waiters carry spoons in their pockets?" The waiter replied, "Yes. Ever since we had that efficiency expert out; he determined that 17.8% of our diners knock the spoon off the table. By carrying clean spoons with us, we save trips to the kitchen." The diner ate his meal. As he was paying the waiter, he commented, "Forgive the intrusion, but do you know that you have a string hanging from your fly?" The waiter replied, "Yes, we all do. Seems that the same efficiency expert determined that we spend too much time washing our hands after using the men's room. So, the other end of that string is tied to my penis. When I need to go, I simply pull the string to pull out my penis, go, and return to work. Having never touched myself, there is no need to wash my hands. Saves a lot of time." Wait a minute," said the diner, "how do you get your penis back in your pants?" "Well, I don't know about the other guys, but I use the spoon." | |
Joke by pdf1, in Jokes with no home > Sick - Tagged waiter , spoon - Current Score: 49 - Added: 1 year ago
| When I was a waiter in a restaurant, we had that Uri Gellar in once. He soon picked up a spoon and I said, "hey, please don't touch that!" He said, "why not?" I said, "cos you're a Jew." | |
Joke by ReigatePen, in Religion and racism > Jews - Tagged uri gellar , spoon - Current Score: 29 - Added: 4 weeks ago
| Celebrity psychic Uri Gellar was found dead the other day. Apparently, he was washing the back of his neck and his head fell off. | |
Joke by pt, in Celebrity and news events > Uri Gellar - Tagged uri gellar , uri , gellar , head fell off , spoon - Current Score: 6 - Added: 4 weeks ago
| A blonde walks into a coffee shop and orders a cup of tea, and complains to the brunette, "Why does my eye hurt when I take a sip of my tea?" The brunette replies, "You might want to take the spoon out!" | |
Joke by Guest, in Religion and racism > Blondes - Tagged blonde , brunette , tea , spoon , hurt - Current Score: 4 - Added: 10 months ago
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