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| Three blokes, Steve, Dave and Bruce, are working on a high rise .... one of them (Steve) falls to his death. The other two have to decide who will break the news to his missus. Dave decides he'll do it as he's pretty good at that caring sentimental stuff and off he trots. Three hours later he's back with a crate of Stella under his arm. "Where'd you get that mate?" asks Bruce. "Steve's missus gave me it." "So you told her her husbands dead, and she gave you a crate of Stella?" "Well, not exactly. When she opened the door I said, 'hi you must be Steve's widow.' She replied that she wasn't a widow and I said, 'I bet you a crate of Stella you fucking are.'" |    |
Joke by ht, in Sex and shit > Young girls - Tagged widow , stella , death - Current Score: 139 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| A message to the British chav: Take a look at Mumbai; now that's how you fucking terrorise a neighbourhood! Not by drinking eight cans of Stella, pissing in someone's garden, shouting as loudly as you can or by mugging a defenceless old lady for £2. | |
Joke by geemack, in Celebrity and news events > Mumbai Terrorists - Tagged british , chav , mumbai , terrorise , stella , pissing , garden , mugging - Current Score: 135 - Added: 3 days ago
| A man walks into a pub and asks for a pint of anything except Stella. So the Barman asks "What's wrong with Stella?" The man then replies "I had 12 pints of Stella last night, and when I got home I was fucking skint!" The Barman replies "But 12 pints of anything costs the same amount?" The man replies "Yeah but Skint is my dogs name!" | |
Joke by cheeseisevil, in Sex and shit > Drunken - Tagged stella , drunk - Current Score: 78 - Added: 7 months, 6 days ago
| A bloke walks into his local and says "A pint of anything except Stella." The barman asks "What's wrong with Stella?" He complains "I had 15 pints last night and woke up fucking Skint!" The barman says "Well, i suppose 15 pints is gonna leave you a bit short." "Aye" says the man "But Skint is the name of my Jack Russel." | |
Joke by CUTTSY, in Sex and shit > Fuck - Tagged bloke , pub , barman , stella , skint , fucking - Current Score: 33 - Added: 9 months, 2 days ago
| Husband and wife are shopping in Asda when the man picks up a case of Stella and sticks it in the trolley. 'What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife 'They're on offer, tenner for 24 cans', he says 'Put them back. We can't afford it,' says the wife and they carry on shopping... A few aisles later the woman picks up a £20 jar of face cream and sticks it in the trolley. 'What do you think you're doing?' asks the man, 'It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,' she says. The man replies ... 'So does 24 cans of Stella and they're half the Fucking price!' | |
Joke by Gash TL, in Jokes with no home > Women - Tagged husaband wife , shopping , stella , offer , ugly - Current Score: 19 - Added: 2 weeks ago
| Why is it you can sue a cigarette company for getting cancer.Mcdonalds for getting fat,but you can't sue stella for all the ugly cunts you've shagged? | |
Joke by MICK THE MAG, in Sex and shit > Sex - Tagged cigarettes , cancer , fat , mcdonalds , stella , slags - Current Score: 10 - Added: 1 month, 24 days ago
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