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| A man who just died is delivered to the mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit. The mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. He points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing. The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the mortician a blank check and says, "I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing." The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly. She says to the mortician, "Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful. How much did you spend?" To her astonishment, the mortician presents her with the blank check. "There's no charge," he says. "No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!" she says. "Honestly, ma'am," the mortician says, "it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice. "Then it was just a matter of switching the heads" |    |
Joke by sick puppy, in Illness and mortality > Dead - Tagged funeral , suit , switch - Current Score: 106 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| Harry is chatting to Tom. "I like your new suit," says Tom. "Thanks," says Harry, "it was a surprise present from my wife. I came home from work early last night and found it hanging over a chair in the bedroom." | |
Joke by cooperman, in Jokes with no home > Fashion - Tagged suit , cheating , wife , cheat , bedroom , sex - Current Score: 66 - Added: 8 months ago
| A hillbilly farmer who wanted to get a divorce paid a visit to a lawyer. The lawyer said, "How can I help you?" The farmer said, "I want to get one of them dayvorces." The lawyer said, "Do you have any grounds?" The farmer said, "Yes, I got 40 acres" The lawyer said, "No, you don't understand, Do you have a suit?" The farmer said, "Yes, I got a suit, I wears it to church on Sundays." The lawyer said, "No, no, I mean, do you have a case?" The farmer said, "No, I ain't got a Case, but I got a John Deere. The lawyer said, "No, I mean, do you have a grudge?" The farmer said,"Yes, I got a grudge, that's where I parks the John Deere" The lawyer said, "Does your wife beat you up or something?" The farmer said, "No, we both get up at 4:30." The lawyer said, "Is your wife a nagger?" The farmer said, "No, she's a little white gal, but our last child was a nagger and that's why I wants me a fackin' dayvorce." | |
Joke by pornstar, in Religion and racism > Rednecks - Tagged hillbill , divorce , farmer , suit , chuch , case , lawyer - Current Score: 57 - Added: 9 months ago
| What do you call a chav in a suit? The accused. | |
Joke by Ciabi, in Religion and racism > Jehovahs Witness - Tagged chav , chavs , accused , arrested , court , suit - Current Score: 56 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
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