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| A pretty blonde walks into a bar and asks the handsome fellow at the bar what he's drinking. He says, "Magic beer. You want one?" "Aw, that's stupid. There's no such thing" she says. "Look, I'll show you". He takes a big swig and proceeds to throw himself out of a nearby window, where he proceeds to fly up and around the building, and back into bar window. "That's incredible! I don't believe it!" she says. "Hey barkeep, throw me another one o' them Magic Beers". The bartender shakes his head and pours another beer and slides it down the bar. The man chugs about half of it and proceeds to leap out the window and circle the building again. "Here, you try it" he says to the blonde. She takes a big draw on the glass, jumps out of the window, and falls about 30 feet to the ground - breaking both her legs - and begins screaming in pain. The bartender says, "Superman, you're a real bastard when you're drunk." |    |
Joke by windaddy, in Jokes with no home > Superheroes - Tagged superman , blonde , drinking - Current Score: 251 - Added: 1 year ago
| Stephen Hawkings and Christopher Reeve walk into a bar... Oh Wait. | |
Joke by AS, in Celebrity and news events > Christopher Reeve - Tagged christopher reeve , superman , spastic , paraplegic , stephen hawkings - Current Score: 246 - Added: 2 months, 20 days ago
| Why couldn't Superman save the Twin Towers? They weren't wheel chair accessible. | |
Joke by ht, in Celebrity and news events > 9/11 - Tagged 9/11 , superman - Current Score: 181 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
| Superman was patrolling the skies above New York, He sees Wonder Woman sun bathing naked on a sky scraper. He thought that if he travelled at the speed of light he could give her one, and be away before she knew what had happened! So in he flew, emptied his load and flew off again. Wonder Woman said, "What the hell was that?" "No idea," said the Invisible man, "but fuck, my arse hurts." | |
Joke by bobbydgg, in Jokes with no home > Superheroes - Tagged wonder woman , superman , invisible man - Current Score: 108 - Added: 1 year ago
| What are Superman's two worst enemies ? Kryptonite and horses. | |
Joke by gutturalrob, in Celebrity and news events > Superman - Tagged superman , kyrptonite , horses - Current Score: 67 - Added: 4 weeks ago
| What's the difference between Bananaman and Superman? One's a fruit, one's a vegetable. | |
Joke by ht, in Illness and mortality > Spastics - Tagged bananaman , superman , vegtable , fruit - Current Score: 41 - Added: 10 months ago
| I just got thrown out of Fathers 4 Justice. Superman and Batman have told me that Super Nazi is not a real action hero. | |
Joke by ramalam, in Celebrity and news events > Fathers For Justice - Tagged farthers , justice , superman , batman , nazi , hero - Current Score: 28 - Added: 1 month, 27 days ago
| Superman was talking to his buddy outside the pub when an old lady has her bag snatched. His friend says "Do something Superman!" Superman replies "I can't.... I'm in a fucking wheelchair." | |
Joke by coathanger, in Celebrity and news events > Christopher Reeve - Tagged christopher reeve , disabled , superman - Current Score: 19 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| Remember when you're young and you think your dad is Superman? And then you grew up and realised he's just a drunk who wears a cape. | |
Joke by rmmkkenny, in Illness and mortality > Alcoholism - Tagged superman , cape , dad , drunk , alcoholic - Current Score: 16 - Added: 4 weeks ago
| A black guy and his wife are invited to a fancy dress party. He tells his wife to go and look for the costumes. That night, when he gets back from work, he finds on the bed a Superman costume. Shouting, he says to his wife, "What the fuck is this? When have you ever seen a black Superman?" The wife is upset and goes back to the shop to exchange it. When the husband arrives, on the bed he sees a Batman costume and he shouts, "you are fucking mad woman. When have you seen a black Batman? Go and change it for something better." The wife is now very annoyed. She returns the costume and buys various things. On the bed she places three white buttons, a white belt and a wooden pole. When the husband returns and finds the objects on the bed, he says to his wife, "What's this?" The wife responds, "it's so that you can choose your costume: if you take off your clothes and stick the buttons to your body, you can go as a Domino. If you don't like that, you can wear the white belt and go as an Oreo biscuit. If you're still not happy, you can stick the pole up you're arse and go as a Magnum!" | |
Joke by ollie123_4, in Religion and racism > Black - Tagged blacks , rqcist , oreo , magnum , batman , superman , domino - Current Score: 1 - Added: 3 months, 22 days ago
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