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| One of the city's top cardiac specialists died. At his funeral, his coffin was placed in front of a huge replica of a heart made of red roses. When the priest finished the sermon and everyone had said their good-byes, the large heart opened up, the coffin rolled inside, and the heart closed again. It was a majestic tribute to the much loved cardiologist. Suddenly, one of the mourners burst into a fit of laughter. Irritated by his insensitivity, the man sitting next to him asked, "why are you laughing, Mister?" "I was just thinking about my own funeral," the man replied, "I'm a gynaecologist..." |    |
Joke by niggers out, in Illness and mortality > Funeral - Tagged funeral , gynaecologist , heart , surgeon , coffin - Current Score: 100 - Added: 6 months, 9 days ago
| One night a man and a woman are both at a bar knocking back a few beers. They start talking and come to realize that they're both doctors. After about an hour, the man says to the woman, "Hey. How about if we sleep together tonight. No strings attached. It'll just be one night of fun." The woman doctor agrees to it. So they go back to her place and he goes in the bedroom. She goes in the bathroom and starts scrubbing up like she's about to go into the operating room. She scrubs for a good 10 minutes. Finally she goes in the bedroom and they have sex for an hour or so. Afterwards, the man says to the woman, "You're a surgeon, aren't you?" "Yeah, how did you know?" The man says, "I could tell by the way you scrubbed up before we started." "Oh, that makes sense", says the woman. " You're an anesthesiologist aren't you?" "Yeah", says the man , a bit surprised. "How did you know?" The woman answers, "Because I didn't feel a thing." | |
Joke by immortal maniac, in Sex and shit > Sex - Tagged surgeon , sex - Current Score: 89 - Added: 10 months, 15 days ago
| A man enters the hospital for a circumcision. When he comes to after the procedure, he's perturbed to see several doctors standing around his bed. "Son, there's been a bit of a mix-up," admits the surgeon. "I'm afraid there was an accident, and we were forced to perform a sex-change operation. You now have a vagina instead of a penis." "What?" gasps the patient. "You mean I'll never experience another erection?" "Oh, you might," the surgeon reassures him. "Just not yours." | |
Joke by mickle, in Sex and shit > Sex Change - Tagged man , circumsision , surgeon , erection - Current Score: 35 - Added: 8 months, 11 days ago
| Four surgeons are taking a coffee break: 1st surgeon says, "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered." 2nd surgeon says, "Nah, librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order." 3rd surgeon says, "Try electricians, man! Everything inside them is colour coded." 4th surgeon says, "I prefer Chelsea fans. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and arses are interchangeable." | |
Joke by championes, in Celebrity and news events > Chelsea - Tagged chelsea , surgeon - Current Score: 27 - Added: 6 months, 12 days ago
| This Joiner I know got both his hands chopped off in a circular saw. Upon arrival at the hospital, the surgeon said, "you should have brought your hands with you - I could have stitched them back on." He replied, "I would have done but I couldn't pick the fuckers up." | |
Joke by geemack, in Jokes with no home > Work - Tagged joiner , amputation , hospital , surgeon - Current Score: 8 - Added: 4 weeks ago
| A surgeon is operating on a man when he slips and accidently cuts off the man's scrotum. He quickly inserts two onions and sews it back up. One month later, the man goes back for a check-up. "Any problems?" asks the surgeon. "A few," says the man. "I cry when I piss, my wife gets heartburn after giving me a blow job and I get a raging hardon whenever I pass a hot dog stand." | |
Joke by ged, in Jokes with no home > Accident - Tagged scrotum , onions , dog , surgeon - Current Score: 6 - Added: 3 months, 17 days ago
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