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| I thought I'd try modern art because it seems pretty easy, so I found a used tampon and wiped it all over my desk at work. I called it the Periodic Table. |    |
Joke by grammer_natzee, in Illness and mortality > Periods - Tagged period , table , tampon , work , desk , modern , art - Current Score: 181 - Added: 3 months, 25 days ago
| Three blokes go to a strip club, two English blokes and a Scottish chap. After being seated at a table near the front, this sexy blonde girl comes over and starts dancing on their table. After a couple of minutes, the stripper has taken off everything apart from her bra and panties. When she takes off her bra, the first English bloke licks a twenty pound note and slaps it to her right arse cheek, next the second English man licks a twenty pound note and slaps it to her left arse cheek. Then she takes off her panties and the Scottish bloke gets his credit card, swipes her arse and takes the fuckin' forty quid! | |
Joke by pornstar, in Religion and racism > Scottish - Tagged strip , english , scottish , panties , twenty , pound , note , credit , card , swipe , table , bra , blonde - Current Score: 45 - Added: 2 months, 14 days ago
| During one of her daily classes a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question: "Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the toilet?" Michael said, "Just a minute I have to go piss, bitch." The teacher responded by saying, "That would be rude and impolite. What about you Peter, how would you say it?" Peter said, "I am sorry, but I really need to go to the lav. I'll be right back." "That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word lav at the dinner table And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?" I would say: "Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope you'll get to meet after dinner." The teacher fainted. | |
Joke by McLOVIN, in Sex and shit > Little Johnny - Tagged teacher , class , johnny , dinner , lady , table , manners - Current Score: 23 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
| I had an unemployed dwarf do a bit of casual work for me. He asked to be paid under the table. | |
Joke by staffer, in Illness and mortality > Dwarf - Tagged dwarf , paid , table , unemployed , casual - Current Score: 14 - Added: 1 month ago
| A man goes to the doctor's for a cock extension. The doctor suggests a baby elephant's trunk stitched on, at a cost of £5,000. The man agrees. Six weeks later, whilst having dinner with a new woman, he feels an unusual stirring in his pants and thinks, "this is the night". Whilst chatting over dinner, his cock flies out and steals an apple off the table and then goes back. "Wow!" she says. "Can you do that again?" He says, "my cock can, but I don't think my arse can take another apple." | |
Joke by MissTourettes, in Sex and shit > Elephants - Tagged man , doctors , cock extension , baby elephants trunk , stitched , cost , 5000 , dinner , stirring , pants , cock , apple , table , arse - Current Score: 13 - Added: 2 weeks ago
| A black man goes to the doctor in South Africa. He is bent completely over, and claims he is in tremendous back pain. The doctor tells him to strip his clothes off, and walk on all fours to the corner of the room and stay there. The doctor then asks him to move across to the other corner. After a minute, the Nigger looks at the doctor and asks what the point is. And the doctor replies, "Well, I have a new black coffee table, and I want to see where it looks best". | |
Joke by aglxs20, in Religion and racism > Black - Tagged nigger , doctor , table - Current Score: 0 - Added: 1 week ago
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