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| 6.00: G-Had TV. Morning prayers. 8.30: Talitubbies. Talitubbies say "Eh-oh". Dipsy and Tinky-Winky repair a Stinger missile launcher. 9.00: Shouts of Praise. More prayers. 10.00: The Apprentice. Ten young Muslims complete a variety of tasks each week - one of them will be recruited by prominent Islamist leader Muqtada al-Sadr into a top position in the Mahdi Army. 11.00: Jihad's Army. The Kandahar-on-Sea battalion repulse another attack by evil, imperialist, Zionist backed infidels. 12.00: Ready, Steady, Jihad! Celebrities make lethal devices out of everyday objects. 12.30: Panoramadan. The programme reports on America's attempts to take over the world. 13.30: Xena. Modestly dressed housewife Xena stays at home and does some cooking. 14.00: Only Fools and Camels. Dhal-Boy offloads some Chinese rocket launchers to Hamas. 14.30: Green Peter. The total of Kalashnikovs bought by the milk bottle top appeal is revealed. 15.00: Madrasah Challenge. Two more Islamic colleges meet. Bambah Kaskhain asks the questions. 'Starter for ten, no praying.' 15.30: I Love 629. A look back at the events of the year, including the Prophet's entry into Mecca, and the destruction of pagan idols. 16.00: Question Time. Members of the public face questions from political and religious leaders. 16.30: Countdown. Can the American prisoners defuse the bomb in their cell before the timer runs down? 17.00: Koranation Street. Deirdrie faces execution by stoning for adultery. 17.30: Middle-East Enders. The entire cast is jailed for unislamic behaviour. 18.00: Holiday. The team go on pilgrimage to Mecca. Again. 18.30: Top of the Prophets. Will the Koran be No.1 for the 63,728th week running? 19.00: Who wants to be a Mujahadin? Mahmoud Tarran asks the questions. Will contestants phone a mullah, go 'inshallah', or ask the Islamic council? 20.00: FILM: Shariah's Angels. The three burkha-clad sleuths go undercover to expose an evil scheme to educate women. 21.30: Big Brother. Who will be taken out of the house and executed this week? 22.00: Imam Ted. Sitcom about three imams who live on a tiny island in the Persian Gulf. This week, Imam Dhuga'il accidently burns down the mosque, while Imam Jakh is stoned to death for drinking alcohol. 22.30: Shahs in their Eyes. More hopefuls imitate famous destroyers of the infidel. 23.30: They think it's Allah over. Quiz culminating in the 'Don't feel the Mullah' round. Midnight: When Imams Attack. Amusing footage shot secretly in mosques. The filmers were also secretly shot. 00:.30: The West Bank Show. Arts programme looking at anti-Israel graffiti art in the occupied territories. 01.30: Bhuffi the Infidel Slayer. 02.00: A book at bedtime. The Koran. Again. |    |
Joke by MrPoliticallyIncorrect, in Religion and racism > Great Britain - Tagged muslim , asians , pakistani , taliban , probably nicked from richard littlejohn - Current Score: 157 - Added: 6 months, 20 days ago
| A large group of Taliban soldiers are moving down a road when they hear a voice call from behind a sand-dune. "One British SAS soldier is better than ten Taliban". The Taliban commander quickly sends 10 of his best soldiers over the dune whereupon a gun-battle breaks out and continues for a few minutes, then silence. The voice then calls out "One British SAS soldier is better than one hundred Taliban". Furious, the Taliban commander sends his next best 100 troops over the dune and instantly a huge gunfight commences. After 10 minutes of battle, again silence. The voice calls out again "One British SAS soldier is better than one thousand Taliban". The enraged Taliban Commander musters one thousand fighters and sends them across the dune. Cannon, rocket and machine gun fire ring out as a huge battle is fought. Then silence. Eventually one wounded Taliban fighter crawls back over the dune and with his dying words tells his commander, "Don't send any more men, it's a trap, ...there's actually two of them." | |
Joke by gangrath, in Religion and racism > Taliban - Tagged talin , taliban , sas , terrorists - Current Score: 147 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
| It's been reported that the Taliban soldiers say sheep are perfect to detect mines. They send them into a field and if they're blown up, they have dinner; if they make it through alive, they have a date. | |
Joke by staffer, in Religion and racism > Taliban - Tagged taliban , sheep shaggers , mines , detect - Current Score: 59 - Added: 1 month, 10 days ago
| An Arab has been found dead at the bottom of Michael Barrymore's swimming pool. Apparently it was a suicide bummer. | |
Joke by Weetobix, in Celebrity and news events > Michael Barrymore - Tagged barrymore , pool , homosexual , taliban - Current Score: 58 - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago
| Finally Al Jazeera have launched there new TV channel to be called Taliban TV - programmes are to include: 1) Middle - Eastenders 2) I'm a terrorist get me out of here! 3) Ready, Steady Bang 4) Pimp my Camel 5) Only Paki's on Camels And there X.X.X. Rated program called "show us your face..!" | |
Joke by Guest, in Religion and racism > indian - Tagged taliban , tv , camels , terrorist , eastenders - Current Score: 26 - Added: 8 months, 17 days ago
| How do you know your a member of the Taliban? When you use your bare left hand to wipe your arse, but you think bacon is unclean!! | |
Joke by Guest, in Religion and racism > Muslims - Tagged taliban , afghanistan - Current Score: 19 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
| Famous Last Words: "I say, Dodi, isnt that Camilla and Charles in that white Fiat Uno?" "Its not loaded. Look." "Mugabe? No, I voted for Tsvangirai." "Free Tibet!" "Im afraid you've had a wasted trip, Dr Shipman. I feel fine now." "Im telling you, that Reggie Kray is a big fat poof." "I invented the Atkins diet. Another doughnut isnt going to kill me." "Prime Minister, would you sign my backpack?" | |
Joke by Razza, in Illness and mortality > Death - Tagged death , dead , harold shipman , diana , taliban , atkins diet - Current Score: 18 - Added: 2 months, 18 days ago
| 9/11 wasn't a terrorist attack, it was the result of a drunken bet. "I bet i can get this plane through those two buildings, and if not, my mate will have a go." | |
Joke by Molineux, in Religion and racism > Suicide Bombers - Tagged 911 , taliban , america , usa , bomb , muslim , drunk , bet - Current Score: 16 - Added: 4 weeks ago
| Prince Harry has announced that he will be returning to the frontline and has raised fears about his security. The Taliban has released a statement saying they won't bother trying to attack him as he has a bad enough life being ginger. | |
Joke by rimmer, in Celebrity and news events > Prince Harry - Tagged taliban - Current Score: 11 - Added: 1 month, 29 days ago
| British Soldier is down to his last two rounds when he is presented with two clear targets, a taliban and Gordon Brown. Who does he shoot first? The taliban of course, but why? Answer: He is a professional....Business before Pleasure! | |
Joke by welsh twat, in Celebrity and news events > Gordon Brown - Tagged sniper , brownarse , shoot , taliban - Current Score: 8 - Added: 4 weeks ago
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