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| A man approached a very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and said, "I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?" The woman looked puzzled. "Why talk to me?" she asked. "Because every time I talk to a woman with tits like yours, my wife appears out of nowhere." |    |
Joke by niggers out, in Sex and shit > Tits - Tagged tits , wife , supermarket , woman , mine , talk , sex - Current Score: 294 - Added: 5 months ago
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A bloke is watching TV, his wife is out at bingo. As he is settling down his son, who was watching TV up in his room, appears in the doorway. "Dad, what's love juice?" The dad chokes on his beer and thinks, "Well he is 12 now perhaps I should explain". "Well son" he says, "soon you will meet a girl who you fancy, you will become exited, your willy will get very hard." The dad gulps and carries on. "You will touch the girl all over and when you reach the top of her leg it will feel wet, this is her love juice coming out of her vagina, it means she is ready for sexual intercourse." The son looks curious and says, "Ok dad thanks." As he is leaving the room the dad says, "Hang on son, what are you watching up there to make you ask that?" The son replies "Just the Tennis." | |
Joke by treefella22, in Sex and shit > Little Johnny - Tagged kids , tv , sex , tennis , misunderstandings , father , son , talk , birds , bees - Current Score: 173 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| It's a well known fact that light travels faster than sound. Which is why Women appear bright until you hear them speak. | |
Joke by bluedishwasher, in Sex and shit > Women - Tagged light , talk - Current Score: 128 - Added: 1 month, 24 days ago
| The wife told me to talk to her like she was special the other day. So I said "Gooo....Anddd...Makee...Meee...A...Cuuppp....Offff....Teaaaa" | |
Joke by doubletee, in Sex and shit > Wife - Tagged disabled , wife , special , talk , tea , slow - Current Score: 112 - Added: 1 month, 26 days ago
| One night a man walks into a bar looking sad. The bartender asks the man what he wants. The man says, "Oh, just a beer." The bartender asked the man, "What's wrong, why are you so down today?" The man said, "My wife and I got into a fight and she said she wouldn't talk to me for a month." The bartender said, "So, what's wrong with that?" The man said, "Well, the month is up tonight." | |
Joke by slider1874, in Sex and shit > Wife - Tagged barman , beer , wife , talk , month - Current Score: 107 - Added: 3 months ago
| A young Jackaroo from outback Australia goes off to university. As these things go, halfway through the semester he has foolishly has squandered all of his money. So he calls home. "Dad," he says, "you won't believe what modern education is developing. They actually have a program here in Brisbane that will teach our dog Ol' Blue how to talk." "That's amazing!" his Dad says. "How do I get Ol' Blue in that program?" "Just send him down here with $2,000," the young Jackaroo says, "I'll get him in the course." So ... his father sends the dog and $2,000. About two-thirds through the semester, the money again runs out. The boy calls home. "So how's Ol' Blue doing, son?" his father wants to know. "Awesome! Dad, he's talking up a storm. But you just won't believe this. They've had such good results with talking, they've begun to teach the animals how to read." "Read?!" exclaims his father. "No kidding! How do we get Ol' Blue in that program?" "Just send $4,500. I'll get him in the class." The money promptly arrives. But our hero has a problem. At the end of the year, his father will find out the dog can neither talk nor read. So he shoots the dog. When he arrives home at the end of the year, his father is all excited. "Where's Ol' Blue? I just can't wait to talk with him, and see him read something!" "Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news. Yesterday morning, just before we left to drive home, Ol' Blue was in the living room, kicked back in the recliner, reading the Wall Street Journal. Then he suddenly turned to me and asked, 'So, is your daddy still messing around with that little redhead barmaid at the pub?'" The father groans and whispers, "I hope you shot that bastard before he talks to your Mother!" "I sure did, Dad!" "That's my boy!" | |
Joke by pd, in Jokes with no home > Accident - Tagged dog , talk , read - Current Score: 20 - Added: 1 month, 29 days ago
| I love my women to talk dirty during sex. I do all my chatting up at the local tourettes association. | |
Joke by justincider, in Illness and mortality > Tourettes - Tagged women , talk , dirty , sex , association - Current Score: 15 - Added: 2 days ago
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