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| A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on strangers, which he was. When he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen. He went back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it above his head without even looking and fired a shot into the ceiling. "Which one of you sidewinders stole my horse?!?!?" he yelled with surprising forcefulness. No one answered. "Alright, I'm gonna have another beer, and if my horse ain't back outside by the time I finish, I'm gonna do what I dun in Texas! And I don't like to have to do what I dun in Texas!" Some of the locals shifted restlessly. The man, true to his word, had another beer, walked outside, and his horse has been returned to the post. He saddled up and started to ride out of town. The bartender wandered out of the bar and asked, "Say partner, before you go... what happened in Texas?" The cowboy turned back and said, "I had to walk home." |    |
Joke by niggers out, in Illness and mortality > A Man Was...... - Tagged cowboy , texas , walk , gun , beer , cowboys - Current Score: 215 - Added: 9 months, 23 days ago
| Texas: 25 million people, 12 surnames. Something's not right here. | |
Joke by coasterdude184, in Sex and shit > Incest - Tagged texas , paedopile , incest , america , redneck , inbred , interbred , sister - Current Score: 213 - Added: 4 weeks ago
| There is this rich Texas rancher who has a 100 meter long swimming pool with a shark in it. He has always said if anyone could swim from one end to the other without being eaten, he would give them either his daughter or his ranch. Well, his beautiful daughter had gone off to art school in New York and brought a black classmate home to one of her Dad's big barbeques. Of course, everyone is talking about how shocking it is that she's become friends with a black man, when all of a sudden there was a huge splash. Everyone looked, and it was the girl's classmate swimming frantically with the shark hot on his trail. At the other end of the pool the man threw himself out of the water and lay gasping and panting on the ground, whilst the daughter gasped at his bravery. The rancher came up and said, "Well, shit. You may be a nigger, but I am a man of my word, so do you want my ranch or my daughter?" The man replied " Neither, I just want to know which cunt pushed me into the pool." | |
Joke by Mrwolf, in Religion and racism > Pakistani - Tagged black , nigger , racism , texas - Current Score: 105 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| When I was on holiday in America, in Texas, I noticed a very popular slogan on cars, t shirts, shops, posters etc- simply " Don't Mess With Texas." I must admit, I agree with that. Its wrong to make fun of retards. (HAHA -- Even most Americans agree with this one!) | |
Joke by bizlop, in Religion and racism > Texans - Tagged usa , americans , america , american , texas , retards - Current Score: 69 - Added: 6 months ago
| To all those posting anti-american jokes, You guys should know better then to fuck with Texas... ...It's bad luck to pick on retards... | |
Joke by jynxgk, in Jokes with no home > America - Tagged texas - Current Score: 15 - Added: 4 weeks ago
| Just picked a cheap last minute holiday. I am off tomorrow for a two week cruise around Texas. | |
Joke by bawbag, in Celebrity and news events > Hurricaine Ike - Tagged hurricane ike , texas , cruise , flood - Current Score: 13 - Added: 2 months, 21 days ago
| A man from Texas buys a round of drinks for everyone in the bar as he announces his wife has just produced "A typical Texas baby boy weighing twenty pounds." Congratulations shower all around, and many exclamations of 'wow!' are heard. Two weeks later he returns to the bar. The bartender says, 'Say, you're the father of the typical Texas baby that weighed twenty pounds at birth, aren't you? How much does the baby weigh now?' The proud father answers, 'fifteen pounds.' The bartender is puzzled. 'Why? What happened? He already weighed twenty pounds at birth.' The Texas father takes a slow sip from his beer, wipes his lips on his shirt sleeve, leans over to the bartender and proudly announces, 'Had him circumcised!' | |
Joke by darylsws, in Sex and shit > Pregnancy - Tagged baby , texas , bartender , beer - Current Score: 10 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| I was playing Texas Hold'Em poker last night when two queens came into my hand. I had shit cards though... you win some you lose some. | |
Joke by chuckstone, in Sex and shit > Gay - Tagged poker , texas - Current Score: 10 - Added: 1 week ago
| During a business trip to China, I was browsing through a department store in Beijing when a staff member timidly approached me. "Excuse me," she said. "Are you American?" "Yes, I am," I answered. "What state are you from?" she asked. "Texas, " I replied proudly. "Oh, I'm sorry," she said, obviously disappointed. "I was hoping to find someone to help me with my English." | |
Joke by welsh twat, in Religion and racism > Africans - Tagged english , american , china , texas - Current Score: 8 - Added: 2 months, 27 days ago
| George Bush has decided that as his last act as President he is going to reach out to US Muslims after the invasions of Iraq and Afghanistan. Every Muslim Community Leader has been invited to a Texas Hog Roast on the White House lawn. | |
Joke by ramalam, in Sex and shit > Paedophile - Tagged bush , usa , muslim , islam , pork , halal , yank , hog , texas , dumb - Current Score: 7 - Added: 4 months, 23 days ago
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