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| Girls: If you get a message from your boyfriend saying that he wants to "kick your puppy", don't call the RSPCA... He's just not very good at predictive text. |    |
Joke by Philthy, in Sex and shit > Girlfriend - Tagged lick , pussy , cunnilingus , text , rspca , animal cruelty , puppy , kick - Current Score: 475 - Added: 7 months, 16 days ago
| I was standing in a queue at a supermarket checkout with my young son and in front of us is a huge fat woman. Suddenly she gets a text message and her mobile phone starts bleeping. "Look out," shouts my son, "she's reversing!" | |
Joke by staffer, in Jokes with no home > Fat People - Tagged reversing , mobile , text , supermarket , fat - Current Score: 103 - Added: 5 months ago
| I went to see my psychiatrist. "It was terrible," I said. "I was away on business and sent my wife a text message to say I'd be home a day early. When I got home, I found her in bed with my best mate - how could she do this to me, how could she?" "Don't be too hard on her," he said, "perhaps she didn't have her mobile switched on." | |
Joke by munkybars, in Illness and mortality > Psychiatrist - Tagged text , best mate , early , bed , phone , switched - Current Score: 25 - Added: 4 months ago
| I have found that if you use predictive text, 'lips' and 'kiss' are on the same keys.. as are 'cock' and 'anal'… is this a sign..? | |
Joke by adz1969, in Jokes with no home > Mobile Phone - Tagged text , cock , anal - Current Score: 20 - Added: 3 weeks ago
| I subscribed to a phone sex line last week............ I just got a text saying it's not working out | |
Joke by cooperman, in Sex and shit > Relationships - Tagged text , phone , sex - Current Score: 6 - Added: 3 months, 29 days ago
| ive been bombarded with dirty picture messages and kinky texts all morning its all well and good. but this is my mums phone | |
Joke by vampy-dav, in Jokes with no home > phone - Tagged text , sexy , my mum , kinkey - Current Score: 6 - Added: 3 months ago
| I don't understand teens these days and their texting. I received one yesterday: "plz fnd hlp Im bn raped n he's goin 2 kil me,plz cll 999" I mean, what the hell is that supposed to mean? | |
Joke by rs79, in Sex and shit > Rape - Tagged teen , text - Current Score: 1 - Added: 3 months, 21 days ago
| When in possession of a male friend's phone - send a text to their Dad: "I'm in the bath, thinking of you". One replied with the epic "You better sort your fucking life out son" Credited to Jimmy Carr | |
Joke by Kuraingu Furiman, in Jokes with no home > Phone - Tagged dad , phone , text , bath , jimmy carr - Current Score: -4 - Added: 4 weeks ago
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