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| An Essex girl is walking down the street with her left tit hanging out, a police car pulls up and says, "Miss, put your left breast back in your top or i will arrest you" The Essex girl looks down and says, "Oh fuck.....i've left the baby on the bus again". |    |
Joke by garrygwizz, in Sex and shit > Essex Girls - Tagged tit , fuck , essex , girl , baby - Current Score: 191 - Added: 2 weeks ago
| A man is being shown around a latex factory. First of all he is shown the machine that makes baby bottle tits. The machine makes the sound: hiss, pop, hiss, pop. Now, the hissing noise is the latex being poured into the moulds, and the popping noise is the hole being put into the end of the tit. Next he is shown the machine that makes condoms. The machine makes the noise: hiss, hiss, hiss, pop, so the man says, "hang on a minute, I know that the hissing sound is latex being poured into the mould, but I can hear a popping noise." The manager of the factory says, "yes, sir, after every four condoms, we put a hole in one." "Fucking hell," the bloke says "that can't be very good for the condom industry!" "No," said the manager, "but it's fucking brilliant for the baby bottle tit business." | |
Joke by pornstar, in Sex and shit > Condom - Tagged baby , bottle , tit , condom , pop , hiss - Current Score: 125 - Added: 5 months, 19 days ago
| I'd like to say something to all the cancer-ridden women who are offended by this site... Get your tit out! | |
Joke by whogivesashit, in Illness and mortality > Cancer - Tagged tit , sickipedia , twisted , women giving women a bad name , who gives a shit - Current Score: 124 - Added: 3 months, 5 days ago
| Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he'd just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and bruised and he's walking with a limp. "What happened to you?" asks Sean, the bartender. "Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight," says Paddy. "That little shit, O'Conner," says Sean, "He couldn't do that to you, he must have had something in his hand." "That he did," says Paddy, "a shovel is what he had, and a terrible lickin' he gave me with it." "Well," says Sean, "you should have defended yourself, "Didn't you have something in your hand?" "That I did," said Paddy. "Mrs. O'Conner's breast, and a thing of beauty it was, but useless in a fucking fight." {Jim Davidson} | |
Joke by guest1, in Religion and racism > Irish - Tagged irish , fight , tit - Current Score: 48 - Added: 8 months, 4 days ago
| A man is doing yard work and his wife is about to take a shower upstairs. The man realises that he can't find the rake. He yells up to his wife at the bathroom window, "Where is the rake?" She can't hear him and shouts back, "What?" The man first points to his eye, then points to his knee, and finally makes a raking motion. The wife is not sure and says, "What?!" The man repeats his gestures. "EYE KNEE...THE RAKE" The wife replies that she understands and signals back. She first points to her eye, next she points to her left breast, then she points to her butt, and finally to her crotch. Well, there is no way in hell the man can even come close on that one. Exasperated, he goes upstairs and asks her, "What in the friggin' hell was THAT?" She replies, "EYE - LEFT TIT - BEHIND - THE BUSH." | |
Joke by niggers out, in Sex and shit > Marriage - Tagged tit , woman , husband , wife , bush , cunt - Current Score: 33 - Added: 8 months, 29 days ago
| There once was a fellow named Dave Who dug up a whore from her grave She was mouldy as shit And missing a tit But think of the money he saved | |
Joke by Badvirus, in Jokes with no home > Limerick - Tagged dave , grave , shit , tit - Current Score: 26 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| Scientists have discovered that the average tit weighs 1.5kg, but they cannot work out the average weight of a cunt. So if you could pop on the scales and ring me back. | |
Joke by Rexton, in Sex and shit > General - Tagged insult , tit , boob , breast , tits , boobs , breats , weight , average , cunt , weigh , call , ring , scientist , scientists - Current Score: 17 - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago
| I watched the Miss natural beauty program on channel 4 the other night hoping to see some tits. Imagine my disappointment when the only one I saw was Gok Wan. | |
Joke by danshand, in Celebrity and news events > Gandhi - Tagged gok wan , channel 4 , tit - Current Score: 15 - Added: 2 weeks ago
| 2 nipple rings walk into a bar and ask for a beer. The barman says, "I can't serve you." The nipple rings ask, "why not?" The barman says, "well, look at ya, you're off your tits." | |
Joke by Archibald, in Sex and shit > Nipple - Tagged nipple , ring , barman , bar , pub , tits , tit - Current Score: 1 - Added: 6 months, 11 days ago
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