Sorted by: Highest Scoring | Lowest Scoring | Newest | Oldest
Showing all jokes.
| A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long, grey beard. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man." "Ok," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as well, and entered the house. Before dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She was young,beautiful, and had a fantastic figure. She was obviously attracted to the young man since she couldn't keep her eyes off him during the meal. Remembering the old man's warning, he ignored her and went up to bed alone. But during the night, he could bear it no longer, and sneaked into her room for a night of passion. He was careful to keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn't hear. Near dawn he crept back to his room, exhausted, but happy. He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large rock on his chest with a note on it that read, "Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on chest." "Well, that's pretty crappy," he thought. "If that's the best the old man can do then I don't have much to worry about." He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window and threw the boulder out. As he did so he noticed another note on it that read: "Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle." In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope that was already getting close to the end. Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration, he jumped out of the window after the boulder. As he plummeted downward he saw a large sign on the ground that read, "Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bedpost." |    |
Joke by niggers out, in Sex and shit > Torture - Tagged torture , chinese , balls , testicle , daughter - Current Score: 176 - Added: 6 months, 28 days ago
| David Blaine today broke the world record for holding his breath on Oprah - 17 minutes and four seconds. Blaine has now frozen himself, he's starved himself, he's gone without sleep for weeks, and deprived himself of oxygen. Today, USA officials at Guantanamo Bay said, "See, it's not torture. It's magic." | |
Joke by mickle, in Celebrity and news events > guantanamo bay - Tagged david blaine , magic , torture , oprah , usa , cuba - Current Score: 92 - Added: 6 months, 17 days ago
| FREE TIBET * *while stocks last. | |
Joke by savagebutchery, in Celebrity and news events > Tibet - Tagged tibet , torture , politics , chinese dictation - Current Score: 44 - Added: 2 months, 16 days ago
| One bad habit the Americans seem to have picked up from us Brits is that of running their prisons like holiday camps. I was reading that the inmates in Guantanamo Bay have access to all the bacon sandwiches they can eat and booze they can drink. Hell, some of them even get taken out for the day to go 'water-boarding'... sounds like fun. | |
Joke by 8 ace, in Religion and racism > Americans - Tagged prison , americans , muslim , terrorist , pork , waterboarding , torture , booze , ignorant - Current Score: 21 - Added: 5 months, 10 days ago
Showing all jokes.
Custurd spent 0.05ms doing 6 queries and 0.01s processing. She's 1.40% angry.
Sickipedia v2.7 - a cr3ative media® project. © '05-09 Rob Manuel