Add Joke - All Jokes - Categories - Recent Changes - Forum - Feedback - About - Buy The Book - RSS
Search:
Welcome, Guest!
Would you like to log in , or create an account?
Report a site problem
Browsing tag: tramp
Sorted by: Highest Scoring | Lowest Scoring | Newest | Oldest

Page 1 of 2 - Next Page

Bob is walking home when he sees a tramp begging for change. Feeling a bit sorry for the man, he gives him some change and begins to walk off.

"Thank you," says the homeless man. "It used to be so good for me but look at me now."

"What do you mean?" asked Bob.

The tramp replied, "I was a multi-millionaire, I had bank accounts all across the world with millions in. I had investments, bonds, stocks, shares and all sorts."

"What happened, where did it go wrong?"

The tramp replied, "forgot my fucking mother's maiden name."
I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by mycockisbiggerthanyours, in Jokes with no home > Accident - Tagged mothers maiden name , bank , banks , tramp , millionaire  - Current Score: 148 - Added: 4 months ago

What's the difference between a Sickipedia joke and a tramp?

None. Both get killed off if it drops below minus 10.
I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by norrth6, in Jokes with no home > Big Issue - Tagged tramp , minus 10 , killed , sickipedia  - Current Score: 128 - Added: 1 month ago

A tramp walks into a jewellers, puts his hands down his trousers and starts fingering his arsehole. The sales assistant shouts at him 'Stop what you're doing and get out!' The tramp says 'You want to make your fucking minds up, you've a sign on the window says come inside and pick your ring in comfort.'I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by McLOVIN, in Sex and shit > Young girls - Tagged anal , fingering , arse , ring , dirty , tramp , shop , assistant , comfort  - Current Score: 123 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago

I was in London the other day and this tramp came up to me and said, "Mister I haven't tasted food in a week"

I said "Don't worry it still tastes the same".
I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by savagebutchery, in Jokes with no home > Tramps - Tagged starving , poverty , tramp , taste , poor , homeless , hungry hungry tramp fight  - Current Score: 120 - Added: 6 months, 25 days ago

When I was out for a walk last night, I came across a tramp.

Well, it's cheaper than paying a prostitute.
I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by gippo1965, in Jokes with no home > Tramps - Tagged tramp , wank , prostitute  - Current Score: 99 - Added: 3 months ago

A tramp finds a five pound note in the street. He decides to go to the off-licence and buy a bottle of white wine. After duly knocking back the plonk the tramp falls into a drunken torpor and collapses in a small alleyway.

About ten minutes later a passing homosexual happens upon the sprawled body of the tramp. Not having greased the pole for a while the shirt-lifter whips down the tramps keks and gives him one up the old Gary Glitter. As the rear-gunner is just about to leave he gets a pang of conscience and tucks a five pound note into the tramp's hand.

Upon waking up the next day the tramp discovers the fiver. Hardly believing his good fortune he rushes back to the off-licence and purchases another bottle of white wine. Yet again he downs the vino and falls into a drunken sleep in his favourite alleyway. A little later the same chutney ferret passes the alleyway and sees the tramp. Unable to contain himself, the uphill gardener divests the tramp of his jockeys and gives him another hoop stretching. Again he leaves five pounds out of guilt for his actions.

Upon waking up the tramp discovers another fiver in his hand and so hastens back to the off-licence. He grabs a bottle of red wine and hands it to the sales assistant for wrapping. The sales assistant, by now familiar with the tramp's usual habits, asks why he is buying red wine this time to which the tramp responds, "I quite like the white wine but it doesn't half make my fucking arse sore".
I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by vasocam, in Jokes with no home > Tramps - Tagged tramp , gay , wine  - Current Score: 60 - Added: 11 months ago

A pub landlord is shutting up for the night when there is a knock at the door. When he answers, a Tramp asks him for a toothpick. He gives him the toothpick and the tramp leaves.

A few minutes later there is a second knock. When he answers, there is a second Tramp who also asks for a toothpick. He gets his toothpick and off he goes.

There is a third knock at the door, and a third Tramp. The landlord says, "Don't tell me, you want a toothpick too."

"No, a straw," says the Tramp.

The landlord gives him a straw but is curious as to why he wants it, so he asks the Tramp why he wants a straw and not a toothpick.

To which the Tramp replies, "Some bloke just threw up outside but all the good stuff's gone already".
I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by funkyfrog, in Illness and mortality > Tramps / homeless - Tagged sick , vomit , tramp , bum , tramps , bums , homeless , puke , hurl , toothpick , straw , meal , food , warm , eat , pub , bar , landlord  - Current Score: 40 - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago

Saw a hobo walking down the street the other day wearing only one shoe.
"You alright mate?" I asked "Have you lost your shoe?"
He replied "No I found one..."
I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by Hughesy, in Jokes with no home > Tramps - Tagged tramp , shoe  - Current Score: 39 - Added: 8 months ago

I was waiting at a bus stop the other day and couldn't help wondering, "if I was a tramp, would I be home by now".
I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by Big Billingals, in Jokes with no home > Tramps - Tagged tramp , waiting , homeless  - Current Score: 28 - Added: 1 month ago

My ex girlfriend is such a dirty tramp..........well she is now since i threw the bitch out and emptied her bank account.I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by geemack, in Sex and shit > Ex girlfriend - Tagged tramp , bitch , homeless  - Current Score: 12 - Added: 4 weeks ago

Page 1 of 2 - Next Page

Custurd spent 0.08ms doing 12 queries and 0.09s processing. She's 1.52% angry.
Sickipedia v2.7 - a cr3ative media® project. © '05-09 Rob Manuel