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| If these people who sell the Big Issue smarten themselves up a bit, they might sell a few more copies. Christ, half of them look like bloody tramps! |    |
Joke by Fred West, in Jokes with no home > Tramps - Tagged big issue , tramps - Current Score: 121 - Added: 8 months, 14 days ago
| Two tramps were walking down the road. One of them started sniffing the air and said to the other tramp, "have you shit your pants?" The other tramp said, "no, I haven't". The first tramp said, "pull your pants down and let me see." So he pulled them down and they were full of shit. "See, I told you you had shit yourself," said the first tramp. The other tramp said, "oh, I thought you meant today." | |
Joke by appy2be, in Jokes with no home > Tramps - Tagged tramps , shit yourself - Current Score: 68 - Added: 8 months, 22 days ago
| A pub landlord is shutting up for the night when there is a knock at the door. When he answers, a Tramp asks him for a toothpick. He gives him the toothpick and the tramp leaves. A few minutes later there is a second knock. When he answers, there is a second Tramp who also asks for a toothpick. He gets his toothpick and off he goes. There is a third knock at the door, and a third Tramp. The landlord says, "Don't tell me, you want a toothpick too." "No, a straw," says the Tramp. The landlord gives him a straw but is curious as to why he wants it, so he asks the Tramp why he wants a straw and not a toothpick. To which the Tramp replies, "Some bloke just threw up outside but all the good stuff's gone already". | |
Joke by funkyfrog, in Illness and mortality > Tramps / homeless - Tagged sick , vomit , tramp , bum , tramps , bums , homeless , puke , hurl , toothpick , straw , meal , food , warm , eat , pub , bar , landlord - Current Score: 43 - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago
| It's a funny old world. Didier Drogba was criticised for throwing a 50p piece into the Burnley crowd. If he'd thrown a 50p piece into the fans at Liverpool, they would have built a statue of him. | |
Joke by kie99, in Religion and racism > Scousers - Tagged frankie boyle , liverpool , poor people , tramps , motherwell - Current Score: 29 - Added: 2 weeks ago
| These two starving bums are walking through an alley when one of them sees a dead cat. He runs over, sits down and starts to eat the cat, tearing the meat from its limbs. He says to the other bum, "Hey, I know you're hungry, too. Why don't you eat some of this cat?" "Hell no!" replies the second bum, "That cat's been dead for days, he's all stiff and cold and smelly!" The first bum says, "Okay, suit yourself," and continues to eat everything, skin, muscle, guts, all but the skeleton. A few hours later as they are walking down the street the first bum says, "Oh, I don't feel so good. I think there might have been something wrong with that cat." And just then, he pukes up a huge puddle of rotten cat flesh and guts with stomach bile mixed in, all half digested and looking like mush. The second bum sits down next to the puddle and says, "Now you're talkin'! It's been months since I had a warm meal!" | |
Joke by funkyfrog, in Illness and mortality > Tramps / homeless - Tagged bum , tramps , sick , tramp , homeless , meal , food , cat , dead , puke , hurl , bile , warm , cold , smelly , rotten , alley - Current Score: 9 - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago
| Two tramps are walking through the park when one finds an unopened tin of baked beans. All excited he whips out his swiss army knife, opens the tin and begins to gulp down the beans. Halfway through he realises his greediness and turns to his mate... "Sorry mate, do you want some?" he asks "No, it's ok... I don't like beans" replies the friend. When he's finished they set off walking again and after about 5 minutes the 1st tramp starts throwing up. There's beans everywhere. His mate drops to the floor and starts licking up the freshly vomited beans. 1st tramp says "Eh... I thought you didn't like beans" His mate replies "I don't miss the chance of a hot meal, either!" | |
Joke by andino, in Jokes with no home > Tramps - Tagged vomit , beans , tramps - Current Score: 1 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| How do tramps connect wirelessly? Brown Tooth. | |
Joke by Moycer, in Jokes with no home > Tramps - Tagged tramps , tramp - Current Score: -2 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| A tramp flies into a bar, asking the barman for a cocktail stick. He gives hime one. Moments later another tramp does the same. He gives him a coctailstick too. Shortly another two does the same. The barman starts getting fucked off. A fifth tramp runs in, asking for a straw. - Right that's it! - says the barman. - Four of your mates already been in for coctail sticks, now you want straws. I wanna know what the fuck's going on? The tramp squeels with excitement. - Quick please! Someone's been sick outside, but the big bits have already gone! | |
Joke by dirt_on_my_shirt, in Jokes with no home > Tramps - Tagged tramps , sick , barman - Current Score: -3 - Added: 2 weeks ago
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