Sorted by: Highest Scoring | Lowest Scoring | Newest | Oldest
Showing all jokes.
| Jack was about to marry Jill and his father took him to one side. "When I got married to your mother, the first thing I did when we got home was to take off my trousers. I gave them to your mother and told her to try them on, which she did. They were enormous on her and she said that she couldn't possibly wear them as they were too large. I said to her, 'of course they are too large for you. I wear the trousers in this family and I always will.' Ever since that day, we have never had a single problem." Jack took his father's advice to heart and as soon as he got Jill alone after the wedding he did the same thing. He took off his trousers and handed them to Jill and told her to try them on. When she did she said, "I can't wear these, they're far too large for me." "Exactly," Jack replied, "I wear the trousers in this family and I always will. I don't want you to ever forget that." Then Jill took off her knickers and gave them to Jack. "Try these on, Jack," she said, so he tried them on but they were too small. "I can't get into your knickers," said Jack. So Jill replied "Exactly, and if you don't change your fucking attitude, you never will!" |    |
Joke by niggers out, in Sex and shit > Marriage - Tagged marriage , trousers , wife , sex , knickers , boss - Current Score: 99 - Added: 7 months, 21 days ago
| Whatever those do-gooders say, there is no such thing as rape. A girl can run a lot fucking faster with her knickers off than a man can with his trousers down. | |
Joke by bobbydgg, in Sex and shit > Rape - Tagged knickers , rape , trousers , running - Current Score: 70 - Added: 10 months ago
| Why does Rupert The Bear wear tartan trousers? Because he's a cunt. | |
Joke by tgs, in Jokes with no home > Rupert The Bear - Tagged rupert , the , bear , tartan , trousers , cunt - Current Score: 30 - Added: 2 months, 16 days ago
| What's pink, wrinkly and hangs out your trousers? Your mum. | |
Joke by allshallperish, in Sex and shit > Penis - Tagged mum , penis , trousers - Current Score: 21 - Added: 1 year ago
| These fucking pants! For fucks sake these cunting socks! Agh! sodding, shitting trousers! Oh this bloody slag of a fucking shirt! I've always been a cross dresser. | |
Joke by justincider, in Sex and shit > Transvestite - Tagged fucking , pants , cunting , socks , shoes , sodding , bloody , trousers , shirt , cross , dresser - Current Score: 12 - Added: 3 weeks ago
| Is it true that Napoleon Bonapart's wife waved him off to war saying, "get blown apart Bonapart"? Anyway this joke isn't about him, it's about Nelson. See, Nelson's on his ship in the channel. One day, he goes up on deck and takes his telescope out to scan the horizon. There he sees a Spanish ship! "Hardy!" the great man calls to his trusty second in command, "go and get my red jacket. I don't want the blood to show." Hardy gets his red jacket and, sure enough, they sink the Spaniard. The next morning, Nelson comes up on deck, scans the horizon and spots two Spanish ships! "Hardy!" he calls, "my red jacket please, I do not want the blood to show." And they sink both ships. The third day, he comes up to find ten Spanish ships! "Hardy!" he calls, "my red jacket once more, for I do not want the blood to show." Needless to say, they sink all ten Spaniards! The next day, he goes up on deck, looks to the horizon and sees the entire Spanish Armada! He quietly lowers his telescope, and seems to contemplate what he has seen. Hardy is ready to go down for his red jacket and is patiently awaiting the command when Admiral Nelson says, "Hardy, get my brown trousers." | |
Joke by Antichrist, in Celebrity and news events > Nelson - Tagged naval , trousers - Current Score: 5 - Added: 1 year ago
| I went to buy some camouflage trousers yesterday but I couldn't find any. | |
Joke by donkeyjoker, in Celebrity and news events > Tommy Cooper - Tagged oneliner , camouflage , trousers - Current Score: 2 - Added: 2 weeks ago
| Jack and Jill were just married, Jack took off his trousers and said to Jill try these on. Jill said they're too big. Jack said exactly! I wear the trousers in this marriage and always will. Jill said try my knickers on. Jack said I'll never get into them. Jill said exactly! and if you don't change your fucking attitude you never will... | |
Joke by sw3llh34d, in Sex and shit > Marriage - Tagged marriage , trousers , attitude - Current Score: 1 - Added: 1 year ago
Showing all jokes.
Custurd spent 0.04ms doing 10 queries and 0.01s processing. She's 0.54% angry.
Sickipedia v2.7 - a cr3ative media® project. © '05-09 Rob Manuel