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| Actions speak louder than words... Never more true, than with rape. |    |
Joke by AS, in Sex and shit > Rape - Tagged rape , sex , actions , words , true , word , rapist - Current Score: 47 - Added: 5 months, 4 days ago
| These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS: I forget. ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?" ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? WITNESS: My name is Susan! ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? ____________________________________ ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-one-year-old, how old is he? WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one. ________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? WITNESS: Are you shitt'in me? ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: She had three children, right? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: How many were boys? WITNESS: None. ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? WITNESS: Are you kidding? Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney? ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS: By death. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? WITNESS: Now, whose death do you suppose terminated it? ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard. ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? WITNESS: Guess. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you like to rephrase that? ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m. ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table, wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him! ____________________________________________ --- And the best for last: --- ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law. | |
Joke by guest1, in Jokes with no home > Solicitor - Tagged true , . , court - Current Score: 41 - Added: 8 months, 7 days ago
| In the news, scientists are saying premature ejaculation is genetic. It's true, I had premature ejaculation in my genes about ten minutes ago. | |
Joke by Peter_G, in Sex and shit > Premature Ejaculation - Tagged premature ejaculation , true , genetic , scientists - Current Score: 23 - Added: 1 month, 26 days ago
| How many blonde jokes are there? One, the rest are all true stories. | |
Joke by mason, in Jokes with no home > Blonde - Tagged oh god another blonde joke , stories , true - Current Score: 14 - Added: 2 months, 14 days ago
| What the difference between true love and herpes? Herpes lasts forever. | |
Joke by staffer, in Illness and mortality > Disease - Tagged herpes , love , difference , true - Current Score: 14 - Added: 2 months, 3 days ago
| I love having a Chinese girlfriend but, last night, I asked her for a 69 and she stormed out of the bedroom. She did come back twenty minutes later, carrying a tinfoil box of egg fried rice. | |
Joke by pediaphile, in Sex and shit > 69 - Tagged chinese , food , sex , true - Current Score: -4 - Added: 2 months, 20 days ago
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