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| Why don't Muslims drink alcohol? It might give the cunts a sense of humour. |    |
Joke by Guest, in Religion and racism > Muslim - Tagged muslims , cunts , twats , guests , are - Current Score: 345 - Added: 6 months ago
| I told the wife I was going to get her diamonds for Christmas. She said nothing would please her more. So I'm getting her nothing instead. | |
Joke by tony.t, in Sex and shit > Wife - Tagged gift , joke , cunt , all , twats , fuck all , slag , bitch , whore , everything - Current Score: 77 - Added: 11 months ago
| A judge asks a surly defendant if he has anything to say for himself. The defendant mutters, "fuck all." "What did you say?" asks the judge. The court clerk turns to the judge and says, "the defendant said, 'fuck all', your honour." "Really?" replies the judge, "I could have sworn I saw his lips move." | |
Joke by tony.t, in Jokes with no home > Court - Tagged court , without a home , judge , swearing , cunt , fuckers , lawyers , all , twats , legal - Current Score: 75 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| AND THE YANKS GET ALL UPSET WHEN SOMEONE STATES HOW THICK THEY REALLY ARE, WELL READ AND LAUGH YOUR ASS OFF WITH THESE: The Stella Awards, named after Stella Leibeck who suffered third degree burns to her legs, groin and buttocks after spilling a cup of McDonalds coffee on herself. She was driving at the time. Celebrate, if you will, America's most frivolous lawsuits: 1. Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas was awarded $780,000 by a jury after breaking her ankle falling over a child who was running inside a furniture store. The store owners were surprised by the verdict, considering that the misbehaving little bastard was Mrs Robertson's son. 2. 19 year old Carl Truman of LA won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbour ran over his hand in a Honda Accord. Mr.Truman hadn't noticed that there was anyone at the wheel of the vehicle before trying to steal the hub-caps. 3. Terrence Dickinson of Bristol, Pennsylvania was leaving a house he has just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was unable to open the garage door from inside, and the door back into the house had locked shut behind him. The house owners were on vacation. Mr Dickinson found himself locked in the garage for eight days with just two bottle of Pepsi and a bag of dog biscuits to live on. He sued the homeowner, and received half a million dollars for undue mental anguish. 4. Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by a beagle. The beagle was chained up in it's owners yard. The award was a little less than first thought, given that the jury agreed that Mr Williams had provoked the dog by shooting it repeatedly with an air gun. 5.A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster $113,000 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx. The beverage was only on the floor because Ms Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument. 6.Kara Walton of Delaware successfully sued the owner of a night club after she fell from the bathroom window and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms Walton was trying to sneak out and avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12, 000 and dental expenses. And the winner is: Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma purchased a brand new 32 foot Winnebago motor home. Upon leaving the dealership, he pulled onto the freeway, set the cruise control at 70mph and calmly made his way into the back to make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly, the vehicle left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in the handbook that he couldn't actually do this. He was awarded $1,750,000 and a new Winnie. Winnebago actually changed their handbooks in case another complete moron decided to buy one of their vehicles. | |
Joke by welsh twat, in Religion and racism > Americans - Tagged american , lawsuits , thick , twats , stella awards , snopescom , snopes - Current Score: 72 - Added: 3 weeks ago
| Why are chavs like a vaginoplasty? They can spend a fortune on their appearance, but they'll still end up just looking like a twat. | |
Joke by Guest, in Religion and racism > Chavs - Tagged chavs , revolting scum , twats - Current Score: 56 - Added: 5 months, 13 days ago
| A magnificent site Sickipedia Was once our favourite media It developed a tumour Of twats without humour Now it's all shit and copies they feed ya | |
Joke by Boogaloo, in Jokes with no home > Limerick - Tagged poem , sickipedia , twats , humour , boogaloo - Current Score: 51 - Added: 3 months, 25 days ago
| "Stop wasting food," Prime Minister Gordon Brown urged the British public today. "Any unwanted items may be forwarded to John Prescott," he added. | |
Joke by 8 ace, in Celebrity and news events > Gordon Brown - Tagged gordon brown , government , twats , fat bastard , john prescott , 8 ace - Current Score: 34 - Added: 2 months ago
| Big Brother 9 I've never seen so many twats in one place since I last went window shopping in Amsterdam. | |
Joke by baldlice, in Celebrity and news events > Big Brother - Tagged twats , bb , big brother , amsterdam - Current Score: 32 - Added: 3 months ago
| Why is it that, when I ask the council to take my old sofa away, they never come but, as soon as I chain my kids to it, they're round in a flash. | |
Joke by The Wolf, in Jokes with no home > Council Workers - Tagged domestic violence , council workers , twats , maxmoore - Current Score: 31 - Added: 1 month, 23 days ago
| What's the difference between my backed-up toilet and the Chancellor of the Exchequer? My backed-up toilet is only half-full of shit. | |
Joke by Guest, in Celebrity and news events > Government - Tagged budget , labour , twats , cunts , thieves , i'm going on a baccy run to calais - Current Score: 19 - Added: 5 months, 27 days ago
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