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| Two white van men are driving on a long-distance drop. One decides to have a kip in the back of the van as he's knackered. He's suddenly woken from his sleep by a massive thump followed by another one. He goes to the driver and says, "what the fuck happened then?" The driver says, "well, the second bump was me hitting a Paki." The passenger says, "well, what was the first one?" "I had to mount the curb to get him." |    |
Joke by Guest, in Religion and racism > Pakistani - Tagged paki , white , van , man - Current Score: 99 - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago
| I've just popped round to meet the new next door neighbours, and I think they're Jewish. Well, they've got a fucking fork in the sugar bowl, teabags on the washing line, and double glazed windows so that the kids can't hear the ice-cream vans. | |
Joke by pornstar, in Religion and racism > Africans - Tagged jewish , teabag , washing line , ice , cream , van , kids , fork , sugar , bowl - Current Score: 80 - Added: 4 months, 7 days ago
| Paddy and Colleen were making passionate love in Paddy's mini van when suddenly Colleen, being a bit on the kinky side, yells out "oh big boy,whip me,whip me!" Paddy, not wanting to pass up this unique opportunity, obviously did not have any whips on hand but, in a flash of inspiration, he opens the window, snaps the antenna off his van and proceeds to whip Colleen until they both collapse in ecstasy. About a week later, Colleen notices that the marks left by the whipping are starting to fester a bit so she goes to the doctor. The doctor takes one look at the wounds and asks, "did you get these marks having sex?" Colleen, a little embarrassed that she has slept with Paddy [let alone that she allowed the kinky boy to whip her] eventually admits that, yes, she did. Nodding his head knowingly, the doctor exclaims, "I thought so because, in all my years as a doctor, you've got the worst case of van aerial disease that I've ever seen." | |
Joke by niggers out, in Sex and shit > Sex - Tagged sex , paddy , van , doctor , whip , aerial - Current Score: 29 - Added: 7 months, 8 days ago
| I was set up on a blind date and after a few drinks it was going pretty well, as we were leaving the bar she turned to me a wispered 'i want you to come back to mine and shag me over and over again, the most anyone has managed has managed in the past is 15 times, i want you to try and beat that!' .........thank fuck i brought my 16 mates in the back of my van round the corner to show her a good night | |
Joke by greggers101, in Sex and shit > General - Tagged gang rape , shag , sex , dating , van - Current Score: 18 - Added: 7 months, 27 days ago
| "Mummy, mummy, remember you said not to take sweets from strangers"? "Yes? " "Is it ok to have sex in their van?" | |
Joke by Guest, in Sex and shit > Cinderella - Tagged mummy , sweets , sex , van - Current Score: 18 - Added: 9 months, 14 days ago
| Two Scotsmen coming home from work early. As they round the corner, the first one sees a plumber's van parked in the drive of his house. He goes pale, gulps, turns to his mate and says, "Jesus Christ! I hope she's being unfaithful." | |
Joke by staffer, in Religion and racism > Scottish - Tagged van , plumber , work , early , unfaithful - Current Score: 17 - Added: 3 months, 13 days ago
| Recently, I've been studying different pick up lines, seeing which one got me the most action. Not many seemed to work. "I have sweets in my van," on the other hand... | |
Joke by wub, in Sex and shit > Paedophile - Tagged van , sweets - Current Score: 15 - Added: 3 months, 14 days ago
| If God didn't want paedophiles to exist he wouldn't have invented sweets and vans. | |
Joke by wub, in Sex and shit > Paedophile - Tagged van , sweets - Current Score: 3 - Added: 3 months, 19 days ago
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