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| Did you ever hear one of those corny, positive messages on someone's answering machine?- "Hi, It's a great day and I'm out enjoying it right now. I hope you are too. The thought for the day is 'Share the love.' " Beep." "Uh, yeah...this is the VD clinic calling...Speaking of being positive, your test is back. Stop sharing the love." |    |
Joke by Ryz, in Sex and shit > Women - Tagged vd , positive , answering machine , love - Current Score: 44 - Added: 1 year ago
| At the cinema a man noticed a young woman sitting all by herself. He was excited to see she had both hands under her skirt and was fingering herself furiously. He moved to the next seat to her and offered his help. She welcomed his help, and so the man started fingering her like crazy. When he tired and withdrew his hand, he was surprised to see her go back to work on herself with both hands. "Wasn't I good enough?" he asked sheepishly. "Great," she said, "but these crabs are still itching!" | |
Joke by niggers out, in Sex and shit > Sexual Diseases - Tagged cinema , crabs , vd , finger , itch - Current Score: 28 - Added: 10 months, 13 days ago
| Sing a song of six-pence, A penis full of pus. Four 'n twenty black scabs, Just about to bust. When the scabs bust open, The pus begins to ooze. It dribbles off your fore-skin, And oozes on your shoes. | |
Joke by poosmellsyucky, in Sex and shit > Limerick - Tagged vd , penis , pus , scabs - Current Score: 18 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| You've heard the tale of Robin Hood, And how he did poor people good, but there's more to this old story, than Sherwood Forest's Pride and Glory. At night when all the robbing was done, the merry men would have some fun, in fact it would be fair to say, The Merry men were rather gay. As Little John starts to unwind, Robin takes him from behind. As they frolic in the grass, Robin rams it up his ass. One night when they were all at play, a pretty maiden came their way, she sauntered up to Friar Tuck, and said, "I'm Marion, wanna fuck?" Tuck could not believe his ears, "She wants a shag off us old queers!" When he recovered from his shock, Robin whipped out his fat cock. Marion's clothes were off in a flash, The merry men all had her gash, They satisfied her every whim, and shot their man-fat up her quim. When all was done she spoke a rhyme, "Thank you boys for the lovely time, But for your pleasure you must pay, I've got herpes; have a nice day." "Now listen here," said Friar Tuck, "We really couldn't give a fuck, we've all got AIDS, so who's fucked now, Have a nice day, you stupid cow." | |
Joke by Guest, in Sex and shit > Sexual Diseases - Tagged robin hood , aids , herpes , orgy , vd , queer , homo , fuck , faggot - Current Score: 17 - Added: 8 months, 17 days ago
| A Chav, lucky beyond his wildest dreams, finds Jade Goody pissed as a rat in a bar. After plying her with more Lambrini, he borrows a sack-barrow and takes her home to his place. A couple of Kestrel Extra-Strengths later and she slurs to him "Awrite big boy, d'ya wannit rough or smoove?" He can't believe his luck and he opts for 'rough' - the shag is the most intense of his life and he collapses in a heap next to her. He is so excited that his erection quickly returns and now he opts for 'smooth'. He is rewarded with the most lubricated slow-fuck of his life - it moves him to tears in its closeness. "Oh my God Jade, how do you do that?" He asks in a still-trembling voice... She replies "If you want it rough, I leaves the scabs on..." | |
Joke by Japs_Eye, in Celebrity and news events > Jade Goody - Tagged jade goody , slag , chavs , vd - Current Score: 13 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| Why did God create yeast infections? So women would also know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt. | |
Joke by wamphyri, in Sex and shit > Young girls - Tagged vd , women , cunt - Current Score: 12 - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago
| What's the difference between a dwarf bank robber and VD? One's a cunning runt...... | |
Joke by bastardsonofcliff, in Sex and shit > Sexual Diseases - Tagged dwarf , vd - Current Score: 9 - Added: 2 months, 9 days ago
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