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| Why doesn't Viagra work on chavs? Cos they only get hard when they've got ten mates behind them. |    |
Joke by ReigatePen, in Religion and racism > Chavs - Tagged chavs , viagra - Current Score: 135 - Added: 5 months ago
| An Irish woman of advanced age visited her physician to ask his help in reviving her husband's libido. "What about trying Viagra? asks the doctor. "Not a chance", she said. "He won't even take an aspirin". "Not a problem", replied the doctor. "Give him an "Irish Viagra". It's when you drop the Viagra tablet into his coffee. He won't even taste it. Give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things went". It wasn't a week later that she called the doctor, who directly inquired as to progress. The poor dear exclaimed, "Oh, faith, bejaysus and begorrah! It was terrible! Just terrible, doctor!" "Really? What happened?" asked the doctor. "Well, I did as you advised and slipped it into his coffee and the effect was almost immediate. He jumped straight up, with a twinkle in his eye, and with his pants a-bulging fiercely! With one swoop of his arm, he sent the cups and tablecloth flying, ripped me clothes to tatters and took me then and there, took me passionately on the tabletop! It was a nightmare, I tell you, an absolute nightmare!" "Why so terrible?" asked the doctor, "Do you mean the sex your husband provided wasn't good"? "Twas the best sex I've had in 25 years! But as sure as I'm sitting here, I'll never be able to show me face in Starbucks again!" | |
Joke by pdf1, in Sex and shit > Sex - Tagged sex , viagra , old people , starbucks - Current Score: 106 - Added: 11 months ago
| An elderly gentleman went to the local drug store and asked the pharmacist for Viagra. The pharmacist said, "that's no problem. How many do you want?" The man answered, "just a few, maybe four, but cut each one in four pieces." The pharmacist said, "that won't do you any good." The elderly gentleman said, "that's alright. I don't need them for sex anymore. I am over 80 years old. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don't piss on my shoes." | |
Joke by IrishRussell, in Illness and mortality > Old people - Tagged old , men , viagra - Current Score: 94 - Added: 8 months ago
| A man went to see his doctor suffering with badly sun-burned legs. After examining him, the doctor said that he was prescribing Viagra. "Will it take the pain away doc?" asked the man. "No," said the doctor, "But it will keep the sheets off your legs tonight." | |
Joke by the phantom phucker, in Sex and shit > Viagra - Tagged viagra , doctor , sunburn - Current Score: 76 - Added: 10 months ago
| A man, getting along in years, finds that he is unable to perform sexually. He finally goes to his doctor who tries a few things, but nothing seems to work. Finally, as a last hope, the doctor refers him to an African medicine man. The medicine man says, "I can cure this." With that said, he throws a white powder into a flame, and there is a flash with billowing blue smoke. Then he says, "This is powerful healing but you can only use it once a year. All you have to do is say '123,' and it shall rise for as long as you wish!" The man then asks, "What happens when it's over, and I don't want to continue?" The medicine man replies, "When your partner can take no more sex and is completely raddled, all she has to say is '1234', and it will then go down. But be warned, the pork sword will not rise again for another year." The old gent rushes home, anxious to try out his new powers. That night he showers, shaves and smothers himself in aftershave. He slides into bed, cuddles up to his wife, says "123" and suddenly he has the most gigantic stiffie ever, just as the medicine man promised. His wife turns over and asks, "What did you say '123' for?" | |
Joke by ht, in Sex and shit > Sex - Tagged old , viagra , impotence , witch doctor , blind - Current Score: 75 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| Viagra has just been released in powdered form -I put some in my tea today, it did nothing for my sex drive but...... It stopped my biscuits from going soft | |
Joke by cooperman, in Sex and shit > Viagra - Tagged viagra , tea , biscuits - Current Score: 74 - Added: 8 months ago
| A woman asks her husband if he'd like some breakfast. "Bacon, eggs, perhaps some toast? Maybe a nice sectioned grapefruit and a cup of fresh coffee?" He declines, "It's the Viagra," he says, "it's really taken the edge off my appetite." At lunchtime she again asks if he would like something. "A bowl of homemade soup, maybe with a cheese sandwich? Or how about a plate of snacks and a glass of milk?" Again he declines. "No thanks. It's the Viagra," he says, "It's really taken the edge off my appetite." At dinnertime, she asks if he wants anything to eat, offering to go to the cafe and buy him a super burger. "or would you rather I make you a pizza from scratch? Or how about a tasty stir-fry? That'll only take a couple of minutes...?" Once more he declines, "Again, thanks, but it's the Viagra. It's really taken the edge off my appetite." "Well then," she replies, "Would you mind getting off me? I'm bloody STARVING!" | |
Joke by ht, in Sex and shit > viagra - Tagged viagra , husband , wife , sex - Current Score: 71 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| What do the Chinese take before elections? Viagla | |
Joke by baldlice, in Celebrity and news events > Elections - Tagged viagra , viagla , erection , chinese - Current Score: 67 - Added: 1 month ago
| A woman walks into a chemist to enquire about Viagra. "Can you get it over the counter?" she asks the man at the till. "If I take two, I can," he replies. | |
Joke by cooperman, in Sex and shit > Viagra - Tagged viagra , penis - Current Score: 64 - Added: 8 months ago
| A man went to his pharmacist to get a double dose of Viagra. The pharmacist told him that he couldn't give him a double dose. "Why not?" asked the man. "Because it's not safe," replied the pharmacist. "But I need it really bad," said the man. "Well, why do you need it so badly?" asked the pharmacist. The man said, "my girlfriend is coming into town on Friday, my ex-wife will be here on Saturday. My wife is coming home on Sunday. Can't you see? I must have a double dose." The pharmacist finally relented saying, "okay, I'll give it to you, but you have to come in on Monday morning so that I can check you to see if there are any side effects." On Monday, the man dragged himself in, his right arm in a sling. The pharmacist asked, "what happened to you?" The man said, "no-one showed up." | |
Joke by Guest, in Sex and shit > Wanking - Tagged viagra , sex , wanking , chemist , pharmacist - Current Score: 61 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
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