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| I wouldn't say that Shannon Matthews' mother was ugly, but she does have to get her vibrator pissed. |    |
Joke by Retard, in Celebrity and news events > Shannon Matthews - Tagged shannon mathews , ugly , vibrator , pissed , karen matthews - Current Score: 177 - Added: 6 months ago
| An Essex Girl enters a sex shop and asks for a vibrator. The man says "Choose from our range on the wall." She says "I'll take the red one." The man replies "That's a fire extinguisher." | |
Joke by ag, in Religion and racism > Essex - Tagged essex , vibrator , fire extinguisher - Current Score: 121 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| Three men were drinking at a bar -- a doctor, an attorney and a biker. As the doctor was drinking his white wine he said, "For her birthday, I'm going to buy my wife a fur coat and a diamond ring. This way, if she doesn't like the fur coat she will still love me because she got a diamond ring." As the attorney was drinking his martini he said, "For my wife's birthday, I'm going to buy her a designer dress and a gold bracelet. This way, if she doesn't like the dress she will still love me because she got the gold bracelet." As the biker was drinking his shots of whiskey he said, "I'm going to buy my wife a T-shirt and a vibrator. This way, if she doesn't like the T-shirt she can go fuck herself!" | |
Joke by McLOVIN, in Sex and shit > Fuck - Tagged vibrator , t-shirt , ring , birthday , bar , doctor , biker , drinking , wine , love , coat , designer - Current Score: 89 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
| A little old lady goes into a sex shop, shaking like she has Parkinson's walks up to the counter and says to the assistant, "Young maaaan, have you got a viiiibraaaatoor?" He's a bit taken aback and not sure if her heard her correctly because of her shaky voice, but he picks out a modest-sized model and places it on the counter. "Nooooo, nooooo, bigger than thaaat" So he brings her the next size up. "Noooooo, noooo, bigger than thaaaat" This happens a few times until finally he places the biggest vibrator in the entire shop on the counter. It's eighteen inches long with a girth that would make even Jenna Jameson's eyes water. "Yeeeees, yeeeees, thaaaat's the one. Hoooow do you tuuuurn it off?" | |
Joke by pornstar, in Sex and shit > Vibrator - Tagged old lady , parkinsons , wheelchair , black , vibrator , dildo - Current Score: 86 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
| If someone ever invents a vibrator that can open jars, us men are fucked! | |
Joke by Gaiden, in Sex and shit > Vibrator - Tagged vibrator , women - Current Score: 67 - Added: 5 months, 27 days ago
| How do you know if a woman used a vibrator while she was pregnant? The kid stutters. | |
Joke by Guest, in Sex and shit > Vibrator - Tagged vibrator , pregnant , stutter - Current Score: 55 - Added: 7 months ago
| What's the difference between a vibrator and a Muslim? A Muslim is a real dick. | |
Joke by Guest, in Sex and shit > Paedophilia - Tagged wastegash2801 , hplondon , muslim , vibrator , dick - Current Score: 55 - Added: 8 months, 14 days ago
| As a woman passes her daughter's closed bedroom door, she heard a strange buzzing noise coming from within. Opening the door, she observed her daughter giving herself a real workout with a vibrator. Shocked, she asked: "What in the world are you doing?!" The daughter replied: "Mom, I'm 32 years old, unmarried, and this is about as close as I'll ever get to a husband. So please go away and leave me alone!" The next day, the girl's father heard the same buzz coming from the other side of the closed bedroom door. Upon entering the room, he observed his daughter making passionate love to her vibrator. To his query as to what she was doing, The daughter replied: "Dad, I'm 32 years old, unmarried, and this is about as close as I'll ever get to a husband. So please go away and leave me alone!" A couple of days later, the wife came home from a shopping trip, placed the groceries on the kitchen counter, and heard that buzzing noise coming from, of all places, the living room? She entered, and observed her husband sitting on the couch, sipping a cold beer, and staring at the TV. The vibrator was next to him on the couch, buzzing like crazy. The wife asked: "What are you doing?" The husband replied: "I'm watching football with my son-in-law". | |
Joke by ht, in Sex and shit > Vibrator - Tagged vibrator , mother , father , retyped by? - Current Score: 51 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
| A Essex girl went into a sex shop and asked the assistant for a vibrator. Wagging his finger at her, he said, "Come this way." She replied, If I could come that way, I wouldn't need a vibrator." | |
Joke by peeps, in Sex and shit > Essex Girls - Tagged essex girl , sex shop , assistant , vibrator - Current Score: 38 - Added: 8 months, 29 days ago
| Ann Summers new vibrator for women is so realistic! Just before you reach a climax it cums, farts, goes limp, rolls over and then it switches itself off. | |
Joke by lovelace, in Sex and shit > Men - Tagged vibrator , sex , wank - Current Score: 36 - Added: 4 months, 19 days ago
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