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| I was going through US immigration recently. The stern Official asked, "do you advocate the overthrow of the government by violence or subversion?" I thought for a second, then replied, "violence, I think." |    |
Joke by bawbag, in Religion and racism > Americans - Tagged immigration , americans , violence - Current Score: 151 - Added: 3 weeks ago
| Why is it that, when the Sealed Knot recreate Civil War battles, it's considered to be enriching historical entertainment and a nice family day out but, when me and a few mates attempt to recreate the holocaust, we all get arrested? | |
Joke by bizlop, in Religion and racism > Hitler - Tagged jew , holocaust , sealed knot , history , anti semitism , jews , jewish , violence - Current Score: 144 - Added: 2 months, 9 days ago
| I got banned from B&Q last week for fighting with a worker there! I went in and this guy came up to me and asked me if I wanted decking.... I made sure I got the first punch in! | |
Joke by ChaRleyTroniC, in Jokes with no home > Shops - Tagged violence - Current Score: 117 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| Home Secretary Jacqui Smith plans to "shock" youngsters who carry knives. To be honest, that's the last group I'd be shouting "Boo" to. | |
Joke by tom the storyteller, in Celebrity and news events > Knife Crime - Tagged knife crime , jacqui smith , boo , knives , yobs , youths , violence , gangs , moob - Current Score: 75 - Added: 1 month, 24 days ago
| I've never understood why some people beat their wives. I mean, that's like keying your OWN car. -Jimmy Carr | |
Joke by roflcat, in Sex and shit > Wife - Tagged domestic abuse , violence , wife beating - Current Score: 75 - Added: 3 months, 13 days ago
| I went into town this morning and there was one of those stupid mimes in the square. First he walked up a ladder that wasn't there. Then he cleaned a window that wasn't there. Then he walked into a fist that was there. | |
Joke by Aspen, in Jokes with no home > Violence - Tagged mime artist , mime , violence , punch - Current Score: 70 - Added: 2 weeks ago
| A man comes home early from work one day to find his best mate in bed with his wife. Overcome by anger, he stabs him to death. The wife, shaking her head, looks at him and says, "Keep that up and, pretty soon, you'll have no friends left!" | |
Joke by pd, in Sex and shit > Sex - Tagged sex , violence , stab , wife , friends - Current Score: 61 - Added: 1 month, 14 days ago
| A boy who couldn't see, hear, smell, feel or taste punched me in the face yesterday. I told him there was no need for senseless violence. | |
Joke by sickboy91, in Illness and mortality > Disability - Tagged one liner , pun , disabled , mortality , violence - Current Score: 32 - Added: 2 weeks ago
| The world's gone far too PC, it's out of control. I was in a golf club the other day and asked a guy, "what's your handicap?" He replied, "you can't ask that - it's offensive and it's not politically correct." I thought - this is ridiculous. I mean, I'm at a fucking golf club. So I asked again, "what's your handicap?" and he got really angry and hit me! I got the last laugh though when I kicked him out of his wheelchair. | |
Joke by savech1p, in Illness and mortality > Disability - Tagged handicap , golf , disability , violence - Current Score: 28 - Added: 3 months, 11 days ago
| A Smartie is constantly bullied by the other sweets. He can't socialise at all because everytime he does he's beaten up to within an inch of his life. After a particularly bad beating he decides, "That's it! I'm never going out again." His friends, the Jelly Babies, come over and try to convince him to reconsider. They tell him that if he comes out with them they'll stand up for him if anyone tries to beat him up. After much persuasion the Smartie agrees and they go to their local pub. They just get in the door when a group of Lockets come over and start beating the life out of the poor Smartie. The Jelly Babies just head to the bar and order drinks. The Smartie finally escapes and comes over to them. "What the hell was that? You promised you'd stand up for me!" The Jelly Babies nod apologetically. "We know man. But those lads are fucking menthol!" | |
Joke by Guest, in Jokes with no home > Sweets - Tagged sweet , smartie , jelly babies , lockets , violence - Current Score: 22 - Added: 11 months ago
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