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Browsing tag: voting
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What goes Huh? click, huh? click, huh? click........an american voting down our good fucking jokes

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Joke by geemack, in Celebrity and news events > Americans - Tagged american , americans , america , joke , jokes , vote , voting , fat yanks  - Current Score: 1742 - Added: 1 month, 10 days ago

It seems that any joke written on here gets massacred fairly quickly. So in light of that, I have decided to write whatever the fuck I want knowing that it will be deleted soon.

Talibans eat yoghurt.
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Joke by donkeyjoker, in Jokes with no home > Sickipedia - Tagged sickipedia , jokes , voting  - Current Score: 238 - Added: 1 month, 12 days ago

While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the Golden Gate.

"Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in," says the man.

"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity."

"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the senator.

"I'm sorry, but we have our rules."

And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.

Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.

They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne.

Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They're having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go. Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises...

The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him. "Now it's time to visit heaven," he says.

So, 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realises it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.

"Well then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity."

The senator reflects for a minute, then he answers: "Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell." So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell and the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage.

He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above. The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder.

"I don't understand," stammers the senator. "When I was here previously, there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?"

The devil looks at him, smiles and says, "When you were last here, we were campaigning...... Today you have voted."
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Joke by templett, in Jokes with no home > Elections - Tagged senator , heaven , hell , testing , voting , elections  - Current Score: 115 - Added: 10 months, 24 days ago

What do you call a Black American Muslim Woman?

Pretty much anything- its still bound to get voted up.
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Joke by erniehill, in Jokes with no home > Sickipedia - Tagged sickipedia , voting , nigger , black , woman , muslim , irony , joke , jokes  - Current Score: 97 - Added: 5 months, 11 days ago

An election?? In America??
Well! They kept THAT quiet!
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Joke by 1eyedjack, in Celebrity and news events > Elections - Tagged america , president , quiet , usa , voting  - Current Score: 53 - Added: 3 weeks ago

Don't think all this business of getting lots of votes just by mouthing off and criticising Americans is new. Its not. American politicians have been doing it for years. I mean- George Bush's last platform was basically saying " Surely your not stupid enough to vote for me again are you? " To which the American people responded with a resounding "YES!"
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Joke by twayne, in Celebrity and news events > George Bush - Tagged american politics , politics , america , usa , george bush , sickipedia , votes , voting , dumb , 2004 election  - Current Score: 46 - Added: 5 months, 13 days ago

How do you know the voting is over in the U.S.A

Cos all the good fucking jokes are being voted down again
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Joke by yesitsme, in Religion and racism > Political Correctness - Tagged usa , crap , voting , politics , jokes , voting , down  - Current Score: 7 - Added: 2 weeks ago

How do you know the voting is over in the U.S.A

Cos all the good fucking jokes are being voted down again
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Joke by yesitsme, in Religion and racism > Political Correctness - Tagged usa , crap , voting , politics , jokes , voting , down  - Current Score: 7 - Added: 2 weeks ago

Isn't this election system just a glorified Eurovision results show?I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by poplockandrop, in Celebrity and news events > Elections - Tagged voting , eurovision  - Current Score: 5 - Added: 3 weeks ago

When Americans vote down our jokes, does it count as two cause they're so fuckin fat?I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by albazzar, in Jokes with no home > America - Tagged americans , voting , two , fat bastards , jokes  - Current Score: -3 - Added: 3 weeks ago

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