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| A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on strangers, which he was. When he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen. He went back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it above his head without even looking and fired a shot into the ceiling. "Which one of you sidewinders stole my horse?!?!?" he yelled with surprising forcefulness. No one answered. "Alright, I'm gonna have another beer, and if my horse ain't back outside by the time I finish, I'm gonna do what I dun in Texas! And I don't like to have to do what I dun in Texas!" Some of the locals shifted restlessly. The man, true to his word, had another beer, walked outside, and his horse has been returned to the post. He saddled up and started to ride out of town. The bartender wandered out of the bar and asked, "Say partner, before you go... what happened in Texas?" The cowboy turned back and said, "I had to walk home." |    |
Joke by niggers out, in Illness and mortality > A Man Was...... - Tagged cowboy , texas , walk , gun , beer , cowboys - Current Score: 215 - Added: 9 months, 21 days ago
| I was out collecting money for a sponsored walk last week... I collected so much that I got a taxi instead. | |
Joke by GhandisFlipflops, in Jokes with no home > Spastic - Tagged sponsored , walk , charity , jimmy carr - Current Score: 137 - Added: 3 months, 13 days ago
| My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. Now she's 97 years old and we don't know where the fuck she is. | |
Joke by whats the point, in Jokes with no home > Accident - Tagged grandmother , walk - Current Score: 113 - Added: 6 months, 8 days ago
| What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve? Christopher Walken. | |
Joke by caliban, in Celebrity and news events > Christopher Reeve - Tagged christopher reeve , disability , disabled , christopher , reeve , walken , walk , walking , opposite - Current Score: 107 - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago
| Two muslims walk into a bar. Boom Boom! | |
Joke by caliban, in Sex and shit > Paedophile - Tagged islam , muslim , one liners , muslim , walk , bar , boom , boom boom , bomb - Current Score: 84 - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago
| A young couple are out for a romantic walk along a country lane. They walk hand in hand and as they stroll the guy's lustful desire rises to a peak. He is just about to get frisky when she says, "I hope you don't mind but I really do need to pee." Slightly taken aback by this vulgarity he replies, "Okay. Why don't you go behind this hedge?" She nods agreement and disappears behind the hedge. As he waits, he can hear the sound of nylon knickers rolling down her voluptuous legs and imagines what is being exposed. Unable to contain his animal thoughts a moment longer, he reaches a hand through the hedge and touches her leg. He quickly brings his hand further up her thigh until suddenly and with great astonishment finds himself gripping a long, thick appendage hanging between her legs. He shouts in horror, "My God, Mary, have you changed your sex?" "No," she replies. "I've changed my mind, I'm having a shit instead." | |
Joke by davidmcg, in Sex and shit > 69 - Tagged hedge , sex , walk - Current Score: 41 - Added: 8 months, 19 days ago
| Rape.. Its not just a walk in the park you know | |
Joke by Gunners, in Sex and shit > Rape - Tagged one liner , rape , park , walk - Current Score: 28 - Added: 1 month, 20 days ago
| I took my dog for a moonlit walk along the beach last night... ...and yet she still claims I'm incapable of romance! | |
Joke by pally76, in Jokes with no home > Dog - Tagged dog , walk , romantic - Current Score: 22 - Added: 3 months, 25 days ago
| I have noticed, the older a man gets, the farther he had to walk to school as a boy. | |
Joke by staffer, in Jokes with no home > Pensioners - Tagged boy , farther , walk , school , older - Current Score: 21 - Added: 3 months, 24 days ago
| I'm really looking forward to seeing Paula Radcliffe line up for the New York marathon. If her record's anything to go by, she'll walk it! | |
Joke by ReigatePen, in Celebrity and news events > Paula Radcliffe - Tagged paula radcliffe , new york , marathon , walk - Current Score: 11 - Added: 1 month, 16 days ago
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