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| Ah, it's the time of day when all the American inbred retards swarm the site and think, "Don't get that. Must be crap. Vote it down, down, down." I have visited American so-called 'Sick Joke' sites and the wankers actually apologise after posting a sick joke! Strange how they find sick jokes offensive, but don't mind bombing the fuck out of innocent human beings (us British included)! Well, here's a little friendly fire for all you God-fearing, nappy-wearing, sister-shagging retards: Fuck off and find a knock-knock joke site. That will be much more to your shandy-drinking style, I think. |    |
Joke by mickle, in Religion and racism > Americans - Tagged americans , wankers , rednecks , yanks - Current Score: 2286 - Added: 6 months ago
| For Dads there is Fathers Day, For mothers there is Mothers Day, For Lovers there is Valentines Day but for Wankers there is Palm Sunday | |
Joke by ht, in Religion and racism > Christianity - Tagged church , wankers , days - Current Score: 178 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| I'm sure that, like me, you are very proud of our Olympic cycling gold medal winners. Truly, they are sporting heroes who have done wonders for British sport. I can't wait for them to return home, when they will once again become wankers in Spandex who clog up the roads and get in the way of cars. | |
Joke by lionarse, in Celebrity and news events > Olympics - Tagged olympics , cycling , britain , wankers , cars , bike - Current Score: 138 - Added: 3 months ago
| Some tips for 4x4 drivers. 1. Don't bother investing in a personal number plate; No-one gives a fuck what your name is. 2. Those little stalks that are next to the steering wheel are "indicators." Use them occasionally. 3. Putting a "Princess on Board" sticker isn't cool, especially if the princess in question is Diana. She must really smell by now. 4. "Parent and Child" spaces aren't really for you if your child is 19, even if she weighs as many stone. 5. When parking, try to park in what we call "parking spaces". 6. Be sure to put a "Greenpeace" or a "Save the Earth" sticker on your bumper. Other drivers will enjoy the irony, even if you don't. 7. When people make "wanker" signs at you, it's because you are a wanker. Learn to live with it. | |
Joke by antibagdave, in Jokes with no home > Cars - Tagged car , 4x4 , wankers , princess , diana , wanker , greenpeace , parent , child , parking - Current Score: 112 - Added: 4 months, 22 days ago
| Apparently masturbation is good for you -- really, it is! Sexual relief releases a chemical which stimulates the brain, and in effect is a natural anti-depressant. Scientific researchers reckon that if a person were to masturbate every two hours, he would never feel depressed. So, that got me thinking... Mormons are always really happy, upbeat, and jolly people. This tends to prove what we have known all along: they are all a bunch of wankers. | |
Joke by antibagdave, in Religion and racism > Mormons - Tagged wank , wankers , masturbation , science , depression , happy , mormon , mormons - Current Score: 86 - Added: 4 months ago
| The NHS has announced that all sperm banks in Manchester and West London will close for the next 7 days as all the wankers will be in Moscow. | |
Joke by dandan, in Celebrity and news events > Champions League Final - Tagged nhs , sperm , bank , manchester , west london , wankers , moscow , champions league , final - Current Score: 54 - Added: 6 months ago
| A Brit and an American are chatting in a bar one day. The American says, "you know, there's a term we have for you Brits, and I always wondered where it came from." "Oh yes," says the Brit, "Which term would that be?" "Why do we call you 'Limies'?" "Ah, well, back in the grand old days of the Sea Faring Empire, one of the major problems on board ship was scurvy which, as you know, is greatly helped by vitamin C. Now, citrus fruits are a good source of Vitamin C but oranges tend to rot quite quickly, and so the Royal Navy commissioned a study and it was found that, of all the citrus fruits, limes lasted the longest. Hence, they put them aboard every ship as a daily ration, to help our brave lads stave off scurvy. So, of course, all of the sailors who met up with US sailors in foreign ports always had, and probably smelled a little of, limes. Hence your name for us." "Well, I'll be damned," said the American. "I never knew that. Huh. You learn something every day." "You know," said the Brit, "we have a term for you Americans, and I wondered if you knew the origin of it?" "Shoot!" replied the American. "Why is it that we call you 'wankers'?" | |
Joke by lafamo, in Religion and racism > Americans - Tagged americans , limies , wankers - Current Score: 36 - Added: 5 months ago
| We had a saying about Yanks in Britain during the war... "Over paid, Over sexed and Over here." We now have a similar saying about Yanks in Britain today..... "Over weight, Over bearing and Still fucking over here!" | |
Joke by Katherine Boyle, in Religion and racism > Americans - Tagged yanks , fat , cunts , load mouth , gobshites , george bush , wankers , ian pearce , never won a war on there own , useless gun toting twats - Current Score: 25 - Added: 5 months, 27 days ago
| Sunday morning in a little chapel in the welsh valleys. The vicar is in the pulpit and says, "Who here in the congregation can tell me they have seen a ghost?" Silence from the congregation. The vicar then says, "Who here in the congregation can tell me that they have seen and spoken to a ghost?" Again silence from the congregation. The vicar then says, "Who here in the congregation can tell me that they have seen and spoken and made love to a ghost? A voice from the back shouts out,"I have vicar!" "Thomas Evans", says the vicar, "You mean to tell me that you have seen, spoken to and made love to ghost?" The man replies "Oh! Sorry vicar I thought you said a goat!" | |
Joke by Katherine Boyle, in Religion and racism > Welsh - Tagged welsh , taffs , taffy , get of my mountain , wankers , goats , shagging , ghosts - Current Score: 24 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| Does anyone else think it's ironic that the government is investing £500 million of our money in the banks, only so they can loan it back to us later with interest? | |
Joke by Matt Don, in Celebrity and news events > Credit Crunch - Tagged banks , bank , banking , wankers - Current Score: 24 - Added: 1 month ago
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