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| Going to War over Religion is basically killing one another to see who's got the better imaginary friend... |    |
Joke by captain slow, in Illness and mortality > War - Tagged war , religion , imaginary - Current Score: 837 - Added: 4 months ago
| Why are there no casinos in China? Because the Chinese hate Tibet. | |
Joke by Guest, in Religion and racism > Chinese - Tagged china , tibet , war , gambling - Current Score: 260 - Added: 4 months ago
| I am in the army and my sergeant said to me, "I didn't see you at camouflage training this morning!" To which I replied, "oh, thank you very much, sir!" | |
Joke by welshmadman, in Jokes with no home > War - Tagged army , soldier , war , camoflage , world wars - Current Score: 165 - Added: 3 months, 30 days ago
| The elderly Italian man went to his parish priest and asked if the priest would hear his confession. "Of course, my son," said the priest. "Well, Father, at the beginning of World War Two, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the Germans; I hid her in my attic, and they never found her." "That's a wonderful thing, my son, and nothing that you need to confess," said the priest. "It's worse, Father; I was weak, and told her that she had to pay for rent of the attic with her sexual favors," continued the old man. "Well, it was a very difficult time, and you took a large risk - you would have suffered terribly at their hands if the Germans had found you hiding her; I know that God, in his wisdom and mercy, will balance the good and the evil, and judge you kindly," said the priest. "Thanks, Father," said the old man. "That's a load off of my mind. Can I ask another question?" "Of course, my son," said the priest. The old man asked, "Do I need to tell her that the war is over?" | |
Joke by Guest, in Sex and shit > Priest - Tagged old man , italian , war - Current Score: 163 - Added: 6 months ago
| A young British soldier lost his head during a fire fight and ran for cover some distance from the action. He had not only lost his prized beret but had also lost his webbing and weapon. He was crouched down behind a wall when he felt a hand grip his shoulder and heard a calming American voice behind him say, "What the fuck do you think you're doing here, soldier? Think of your regiment...get back there and do what your paid to do." The young soldier got himself back under control and said, "Sorry, mate, you're right." The voice behind him bellowed, "MATE? I am an American Officer!" The young soldier replied, "Sorry, Sir, I didn't realise I'd run back that far." | |
Joke by mickle, in Religion and racism > Americans - Tagged british , soldier , war , yanks - Current Score: 139 - Added: 1 month ago
| A journalist goes to Iraq and is surprised to see that the local men allow their wives to walk in front of them. The journalist approaches a local and says, "I thought the custom in Islamic countries was for wives to walk ten paces behind their husbands?" "It was," replied the local, "But that all changed with the war." "How did the war change things?" The journalist enquired. The local replied, "land mines." | |
Joke by cooperman, in Religion and racism > Iraq - Tagged iraq , islamic , war , land mine - Current Score: 113 - Added: 6 months ago
| Why did so many blacks die during the war? When the Sergeant shouted "Get Down" they all got up and started dancing. | |
Joke by stu71, in Religion and racism > Blacks - Tagged blacks , war - Current Score: 103 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| Tony Blair was visiting a primary school and he visited one of the classes. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asked the Prime Minister if he would like to lead the discussion on the word "tragedy". So the illustrious leader asked the class for an example of a "tragedy". One little boy stood up and offered: "If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field & a tractor runs over him and kills him, that would be a 'tragedy'". "No," said Blair, "that would be an accident." A little girl raised her hand: "If a school bus carrying fifty children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy." "I'm afraid not," explained the Prime Minister, "that's what we would call a great loss." The room went silent. No other children volunteered. Tony searched the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of tragedy?" Finally, at the back of the room, a small boy raised his hand...In a quiet voice he said: "If the air plane carrying you and Mrs Blair was struck by a "friendly fire" missile & blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy." "Fantastic!" exclaimed Tony Blair. "That's right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?" "Well," says the boy "it has to be a tragedy, because it certainly wouldn't be a great loss and it probably wouldn't be a fucking accident either! | |
Joke by Rexton, in Celebrity and news events > Tony Blair - Tagged tony blair , war , tragedy , school , children - Current Score: 103 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| A man goes into a pub and points at a beer tap. "Do you want a pint?" asks the barman. The man nods and the barman notices that he has a huge scar across his throat. "Where did you get that?" asks the barman. The man manages to croak, "Falklands". "Blimey," says the barman. "Well,have this one on the house,mate. You boys did a great job over there." The man croaks, "Muchas gracias." | |
Joke by cooperman, in Celebrity and news events > Margaret Thatcher - Tagged falklands , argentine , war - Current Score: 95 - Added: 7 months ago
| My Uncle had his tongue shot off during World War II. He doesn't talk about it, though. | |
Joke by appy2be, in Jokes with no home > war - Tagged war , uncle , shot , tounge - Current Score: 92 - Added: 5 months ago
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