Did you hear the price of lamb in Wales has just gone up? It's now £4.95 per hour.

How does a Welshman find sheep in long grass? Very satisfying.

An Englishman, Welshman and West Indian are in hospital, waiting for their wives to give birth. There is quite a bit of pacing up and down when the nurse comes out and happily announces that they are all fathers of bouncing baby boys. "There's just one problem," she says. "Because they were all born at the same time, we got the tags mixed up and we don't know which baby belongs to whom. Would you, as their fathers, mind coming to identify them?" The men agree and walk into the delivery room and look at the babies. Immediately the Englishman stoops down and picks up the black baby. "Yes, this is definitely my baby," he says confidently. "Um, excuse me," says the West Indian, "but I think it's fairly obvious that this is my son." The Englishman pulls him aside and says, "I see where you're coming from, mate, but one of these babies is Welsh and I'm not prepared to take the risk."

I was at work the other day when a bloke come up to me and said " I can't do it!" "Do What?" I replied. "No matter how hard I try, I can't do a Welsh accent. I just end up sounding like a paki" I said "well you're just gonna have to keep practicing Ahmed"

A Welshman, a sheep, and a dog were survivors of a terrible shipwreck. They found themselves stranded on a desert island. After being there a while, they got into the habit of going to the beach every evening to watch the sun go down. One particular evening, the sky was red with beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle; a perfect night for romance. As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the Welshman. Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put his arm around it. But the dog got jealous, growling fiercely until the Welshman took his arm from around the sheep. After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together, but there was no more cuddling. A few weeks passed by, and lo and behold, there was another shipwreck. The only survivor was a beautiful young woman, the most beautiful woman the Welshman had ever seen. She was in a pretty bad way when they rescued her, and they slowly nursed her back to health. When the young maiden was well enough, they introduced her to their evening beach ritual. It was another beautiful evening: red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze; perfect for a night of romance. Pretty soon, the Welshman started to get "those feelings" again. He fought them as long as he could, but he finally gave in and leaned over to the young woman, cautiously, and whispered in her ear... "could you take the dog for a walk?"

The Welsh have just discovered a new use for sheep. Meat & Wool.

I was told by my doctor that I was working too hard, he told me to take an easier job, so I joined the Welsh Fire Service. I thought, 'fuck me, it rains 80% of the time, how difficult can this be?'

An Englishman goes into a pub in Cardiff, goes up to the bar and orders a pint of lager. "You're not from round here are you?" asks the barman. "No" replies the Englishman feeling all the men in the pub are staring at him. "What do you do for a living?" the barman continues. "I'm Taxidermist" replies the Englishman... "I stuff animals" "Its ok lads!" the barman shouts "He's one of us!"

A Little Welsh lad is practising his free kicks at Derby. He has one of those portable walls which he moves around to change the angle so he can shoot from different areas of the field. He takes 50 kicks at goal, every one finds the back of the net. Paul Jewel is watching in the stands and walks down to talk to the young man. "How old are you son?" asks the Rams Boss "13" Replies the young fellow. "Well I am very impressed with your shooting" continues Jewel "and I must say if you continue in this vein of form, when you get older you may be good enough to play for the Derby 1st team" "Fuck off" said our hero "it's bad enough being Welsh"

A welsh bloke is having a driving lesson. When the instuctor says "can you make a u-turn?", the Taffy replies "make a ewe turn? I can make its fuckin' eyes water"

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