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| An Englishman, Welshman and West Indian are in hospital, waiting for their wives to give birth. There is quite a bit of pacing up and down when the nurse comes out and happily announces that they are all fathers of bouncing baby boys. "There's just one problem," she says. "Because they were all born at the same time, we got the tags mixed up and we don't know which baby belongs to whom. Would you, as their fathers, mind coming to identify them?" The men agree and walk into the delivery room and look at the babies. Immediately the Englishman stoops down and picks up the black baby. "Yes, this is definitely my baby," he says confidently. "Um, excuse me," says the West Indian, "but I think it's fairly obvious that this is my son." The Englishman pulls him aside and says, "I see where you're coming from, mate, but one of these babies is Welsh and I'm not prepared to take the risk." |    |
Joke by Guest, in Religion and racism > Welsh - Tagged welsh , race , racism , racist , black , welshman , english , englishman , england , wales , man , men , baby , babies , born , birth , hospital , west indian , indian - Current Score: 119 - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago
| An Englishman, an Irishman, a Welshman and a Scot are captured by the Iraqis. The Iraq troop leader says, "we're going to shoot you, but we will give you one last request." He says to the Welshman, "what's your last request?" The Welshman says, "I want a thousand Welshman singing 'Land of my Fathers'." "Okay, you've got it. What about you?" he says to the Scotsman. "I want a thousand Scots pipers piping Scotland the brave," says the Scot. "You've got it" says the Iraqi. "What's your last request?" he says to the Irishman. "I want a thousand Irishman doing the Riverdance" says Paddy. "It's yours" says the Iraqi. Turning to the Englishman, he says, "and your last request?" The Englishman says, "fucking shoot me first". | |
Joke by CaesarLXV, in Religion and racism > Scottish - Tagged englishman , irishman , scot , iraqi , welshman , scotland - Current Score: 55 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
| An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a pub and each buy a pint of Guinness. Just as they were about to enjoy their creamy beverage a fly landed in each of their pints and became stuck in the thick head. The Englishman pushed his beer away from him in disgust. The Irishman fished the offending fly out of his beer and continued drinking it as if nothing had happened. The Scotsman too, picked the fly out of his drink, held it out over the beer and then started yelling: "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT YOU BASTARD!!!" | |
Joke by gangrath, in Religion and racism > Scottish - Tagged englishman , welshman , scotsman , beer - Current Score: 37 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| How does a Welshman blindfold his girlfriend? Pulls the wool over her eyes. | |
Joke by captainspalding, in Religion and racism > Welsh - Tagged welshman , sheep - Current Score: 19 - Added: 3 months ago
| A salesman drove into a small town where a circus was playing. A sign read: "Don't Miss The Amazing Welshman." The salesman bought a ticket and sat down. There, under the Big Top, in the centre ring, was a table with three walnuts on it. Standing next to it was an old grey-haired boy-o. Suddenly, the old man dropped his pants, whipped out his huge male appendage and smashed all the walnuts with three mighty swings! The crowd erupted in applause, and the elderly Taff was carried off on their shoulders. Twenty years later the salesman visited the same little town, found the same circus and saw the same faded sign that read, "Don't Miss The Amazing Welshman." He couldn't believe the old guy was still alive, much less still doing his act! He bought a ticket. Again, the centre ring was illuminated. This time, however, instead of walnuts, three coconuts were placed on the table. The old boy stood before them, then suddenly dropped his pants and smashed the coconuts with three swings of his amazing appendage. The crowd went wild! Flabbergasted, the salesman requested a meeting with him after the show. "You're incredible!" he told the old guy, "but I have to know something. I saw your act 20 years ago and you were using walnuts. Why the switch from walnuts to coconuts?" "Well," said the elderly Valley-boy, "My eyes aren't what they used to be." | |
Joke by Smegs, in Religion and racism > Welsh - Tagged welshman , taffy , boy-o , cock , dick - Current Score: 13 - Added: 1 year ago
| An Englishman, Irishman, Scotsman and Welshman have all been captured in Iraq and told that they are going to be executed. But before they are killed they have all been granted one wish, but they are not allowed to wish against their punishment. The Welshman says, "I am a proud Welshman, so I wish for a thousand Welshmen to sing my national anthem just before I'm killed." The Scotsman says, "I am a proud Scotsman, so I wish for a thousand Scotsmen to sing my national anthem just before I'm killed." The Irishman says, "I am a proud Irishman, so I wish for a thousand Irishmen to sing my national anthem just before I'm killed." The Englishman says, "kill me first!" | |
Joke by db88, in Jokes with no home > Englishman, Irishman, Scotsman - Tagged anthem , english , irish , welsh , scottish , englishman , irishman , scotsman , welshman , britain , iraq , execute , wish - Current Score: 0 - Added: 6 months ago
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