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| There's a few guys who always get together on Fridays after work for a drink. One Friday, Jeff showed up late, sat down at the bar, and kicked back his entire first beer in one gulp. Then he turned to Bob and said, "times are getting tough, my friend. I mean, just today my wife told me that she's going to cut me back to only two times a week - I can't believe it." At which point Bob put his hand on Jeff's shoulder and said reassuringly, "you think you've got it bad, she's cut some guys out altogether." |    |
Joke by bluedishwasher, in Sex and shit > Wife - Tagged wife , whore - Current Score: 239 - Added: 7 months ago
| Finding her young son scooping ice cream in the kitchen, a mother raged, "Dinner is going to be ready soon. Put that ice cream away and go and play." "But mum" wailed the child, "There's no one to play with." "OK," said the mother wearily, "I'll play with you. What do you want to play?" "Lets play mummy and daddy. You go upstairs and lie on the bed." So the mother went upstairs and lay on the bed. The boy put on his father's fishing hat, lit up one of his cigars, went upstairs and opened the bedroom door. Seeing him standing there, the mother asked,"Now what do I do?" The boy answered, "Get your ass out of bed you whore and fix that kid some fucking ice cream!" | |
Joke by superhorse, in Jokes with no home > Kids - Tagged kid , mother , whore , ice cream - Current Score: 152 - Added: 10 months ago
| I had to get a Visa last week to gain entry into Jordan. I prefer the good old days when she accepted cash. | |
Joke by RevvyB, in Celebrity and news events > JORDAN - Tagged jordan , whore , revvyb - Current Score: 147 - Added: 3 months ago
| A Muslim was seated next to an Australian on a flight from Hong Kong to Sydney, Australia. After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The Aussie asked for a rum and coke, which was brought and placed before him. The flight attendant then asked the Muslim if he would like a drink. He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores and my head stuffed up a sheeps arsehole than let liquor touch my lips." The Aussie handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "I didn't know we had a choice." | |
Joke by Monkeyman, in Religion and racism > Australians - Tagged aussie , muslim , plane , drink , alcohol , sheep , rape , whore - Current Score: 102 - Added: 10 months ago
| I told the wife i was going to get her diamonds for Christmas she said nothing would please her more,so I'm getting her nothing instead | |
Joke by tony.t, in Sex and shit > Wife - Tagged gift , joke , cunt , all , twats , fuck all , slag , bitch , whore , everything - Current Score: 77 - Added: 10 months ago
| A science teacher asked his class, "How do you make a hormone?" Little Johnny replied, "Don't pay her." | |
Joke by kitkat456, in Sex and shit > Prostitution - Tagged prostitute , money , pay , whore - Current Score: 75 - Added: 1 year ago
| What's the difference between Linda McCartney and Heather Mills? Linda McCartney was a Vegetarian who didn't believe in eating meat... And Heather Mills is a self-opinionated one legged selfish ugly whore who needs a bullet to the head. | |
Joke by captain slow, in Celebrity and news events > Heather Mills - Tagged heather mills , dead , whore , bullet , bitch - Current Score: 73 - Added: 5 months ago
| My wife and her friend were having a conversation about how useless men are when my wife said, ".... they can`t do two things at once..." At this I interrupted and said, "Actually I can" "Give me an example," she said. "Well while I was fucking you last night I was thinking about your friend." | |
Joke by tony.t, in Sex and shit > General - Tagged shagging , fucking , wife , husband , sex , pedo , family , bitch , whore , prossie - Current Score: 58 - Added: 1 year ago
| A slut is a woman who sleeps with everyone. A bitch is a woman who sleeps with everyone but you. | |
Joke by the peter tobin fan club, in Jokes with no home > Accident - Tagged slag , slut , whore , bitch , cunt , slapper , did i mention heather mills , the peter tobin fan club - Current Score: 51 - Added: 4 months, 27 days ago
| Business was good at the local whorehouse and the madam decided to partition one of larger rooms. After the work was complete the carpenter asked for payment but was put off. After several weeks he still hadn't been paid and he regularly threatened, "Pay me or I'll rip out the partition." Finally the madam offered to pay him in trade. "Take any girl in the house and have your pleasure with her." "I'll take you." "Me? I'm an old lady. Take one of those young, good looking chicks." "I want you." So he took her upstairs and removed all her clothes, laid her on her back and put one finger in her pussy and one finger in her butt. "What are you doing?" she asked. "I told you before. Pay me or I'll rip out the partition." | |
Joke by niggers out, in Sex and shit > Brothel - Tagged whorehouse , whore , pussy , arse - Current Score: 49 - Added: 6 months ago
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