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| Peter decided to go skiing with his best mate, Bob. They loaded up Peter's 4x4 and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. They pulled into a nearby farm house and asked the attractive lady of the house if they could spend the night. "I'm recently widowed," she explained, "and I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house." "Not to worry," Peter said, "we'll be happy to sleep in the barn." Nine months later, Peter got a letter from the widow's solicitor. He then went up to visit his friend Bob and said, "Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow at the farm we stayed at?" "Yes, I do." "Did you happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and have sex with her?" "Yes, I have to admit that I did." "Did you happen to use my name instead of telling her your name?" Bob's face turned red and he said, "Yeah, I'm afraid I did." "Well, thanks! She just died and left me everything!" |    |
Joke by mickle, in Sex and shit > Fuck - Tagged ski , widow , sex , dead , will - Current Score: 93 - Added: 5 months ago
| An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again. The gentleman replied, Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times! | |
Joke by niggers out, in Illness and mortality > Deafness - Tagged deaf , will , pensioner , doctor - Current Score: 67 - Added: 5 months ago
| Necrophilia means never having to say you're sorry. | |
Joke by honkytonky, in Sex and shit > Necrophilia - Tagged necrophilia , will , ejaculatio , mung , blond# , cumt - Current Score: 49 - Added: 5 months, 24 days ago
| I went to see my gran today and, to be honest, I don't think she's gonna last long now. Not since I saw her will. | |
Joke by Aspen, in Illness and mortality > Gran - Tagged gran , will - Current Score: 29 - Added: 1 month ago
| The patient shook his doctor's hand in gratitude and said, "since we are the best of friends, I would not want to insult you by offering payment. Instead, I would like you to know that I have looked after you handsomely in my Will." "That is very kind of you," said the doctor emotionally, and then added, "can I see that prescription I just gave you, I'd like to make a little change..." | |
Joke by staffer, in Illness and mortality > Doctor - Tagged prescription , will , doctor , payment - Current Score: 25 - Added: 1 month, 22 days ago
| My old grandad has alzheimers, life can be so unfair sometimes.... for me especially, the old cunt can't remember wether he has put me in his will or not. | |
Joke by geemack, in Illness and mortality > Alzheimers - Tagged grandad , will , life - Current Score: 5 - Added: 3 weeks ago
| There was a guy riding through the desert on his camel. He had been travelling so long that he felt the need to have sex. Obviously there were no women in the desert so the man turned to his camel. He tried to position himself to have sex with his camel but the camel ran away. The man ran to catch up to the camel and got back on and started to ride again. Soon he was feeling the urge to have sex again so once again he turned to his camel. The camel refused by running away. So he caught up to it again and go on it again. Finally after riding the camel through the whole desert the man came to a road. There was a broken down car with three big chested beautiful blondes sitting in it. He went up to them and asked the women if they needed any help. The hottest girl said ,"If you fix our car we will do anything you want." The man luckily knew a thing or two about cars and fixed it in a flash. When he finished are three girls asked, "How could we ever repay you Mr." After thinking for a short while he replied,"Could you hold my camel?" | |
Joke by sicksims, in Sex and shit > camels - Tagged camel , car , breakdown , desert , horny , sex , beautiful , blondes , will , do , anything - Current Score: 0 - Added: 6 days ago
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