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| A convicted drug dealer is in prison, and his father, an old farmer, comes to visit. His father explains that they are having problems. "Son, the ground is frozen. It is too hard for me to dig myself at my age, but I can't afford extra men or to hire machines- I don't think we will be able to plant crops this year, which will mean we will go bankrupt and lose the farm." Later the prisoner goes back to his cell and writes a letter to his father- " Dear Father, please be aware that a good friend of mine will be visiting soon. There is a large quantity of stuff he is collecting. It is hidden on the farm, he will know exactly what to do." Some weeks later the prioner's father comes to visit. "Well, son, your friend never showed up, but before I even got your letter the police came round, searched the whole house and dug up all the land around, but they didn't find anything." The prisoner smiles, " Happy planting, dad." |    |
Joke by twayne, in Jokes with no home > Drugs - Tagged drugs , prison , wit , oneupmanship , police , father , son , clever - Current Score: 150 - Added: 4 months ago
| A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane when the stranger turned to her and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger's. The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, "What would you like to talk about? "Oh, I don't know", said the stranger. "How about nuclear power?" "OK," she said. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass, the same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?" The stranger thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea," To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?" | |
Joke by aliaSligo, in Sex and shit > Virgin - Tagged child , wit - Current Score: 38 - Added: 7 months, 21 days ago
| LONDON (Reuters Life!) - The world's oldest recorded joke has been traced back to 1900 BC and suggests that toilet humour was as popular with the ancients as it is today. It is a saying of the Sumerians, who lived in what is now southern Iraq and goes: "Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband's lap." And beneath it, in chalk, the word 'duplicate'. | |
Joke by Fles, in Celebrity and news events > Joke - Tagged oldest joke , duplicate , sickipedia , wit , history , iraq - Current Score: 37 - Added: 3 months, 21 days ago
| During the 70s a University lecturer had a bit of a bad reputation for being sexist. Anyway, this was the era of feminism, and a group of his female students were getting pretty pissed off with his remarks. So they agreed that when he next made a sexist or offensive comment, they would all get up and walk out of his lecture. Anyway, he was lecturing one morning, and mentioned that a group of African Students were coming over- " Hey girls," he said " You know what they say about Africans- I'm sure they will keep you all satified. " With this he made a "big dick" gesture with his hands, which was greeted by laughs from the lads. Well, in response the girls got up and started to walk out. Calm as a cucumber, the lecturer looked at his watch and said " Ladies, there really isn't any point rushing, they won't be here until this this evening." | |
Joke by erniehill, in Sex and shit > Feminists - Tagged students , feminists , university , africans , big dick , wit , one upmanship , onewomandownship , men , women - Current Score: 32 - Added: 5 months ago
| They say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit. I disagree, I think taking the piss out of dwarfs is. | |
Joke by staffer, in Illness and mortality > Dwarf - Tagged lowest , wit , piss dwarfs - Current Score: 16 - Added: 3 months ago
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