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| Two men are shopping in a supermarket when their trolleys collide. The first guy says, "sorry about that mate, I'm trying to find my wife!" The second guy says, "yeah, me too mate." The first guy says, "maybe I can help, what does she look like?" The second guy answers, "she's tall, blonde hair, blue eyes, long legs, great tits and a tight arse. What does yours look like?" The first guy replies, "never mind her, let's find yours!" |    |
Joke by electrohouseman, in Sex and shit > Wife - Tagged shopping , blokes , wives - Current Score: 86 - Added: 7 months ago
| Battered wives - you can't beat 'em. | |
Joke by justincider, in Jokes with no home > Violence - Tagged battered , wives , beat - Current Score: 24 - Added: 3 months ago
| I take care of all my wives. That's bigamy. | |
Joke by brackishboy, in Sex and shit > Marriage - Tagged wives , bigamy - Current Score: 21 - Added: 3 months, 22 days ago
| Why do married men hang strobe lights from their bedroom ceilings? To create the optical illusion that their wives are moving during sex. | |
Joke by welsh twat, in Sex and shit > Wife - Tagged strobe , bedroom , wives , sex - Current Score: 20 - Added: 3 months, 21 days ago
| Ron and Terry were chatting about football in the pub after work. "Are you going to the Arsenal v Spurs match on Saturday?" asked Ron. "No," replied Terry. "My wife won't let me." "It's easy to get out of that," said Ron. "About an hour before the game, what you do is pick her up, take her to the bedroom, rip off her clothes and make mad, passionate love to her. Then she'll let you do anything you want." "OK, I'll try that," said Terry. The following Monday, the two men meet up again in the pub. "How come you didn't make it to the game," asked Ron. "Well," said Terry, "I'll tell you what happened. About an hour before kick-off, I did as you said. I picked her up, took her to the bedroom and ripped off her clothes. And then I thought, Spurs haven't been playing that well recently." | |
Joke by Sexyboi, in Jokes with no home > Football - Tagged famous , wives , football , sports - Current Score: 15 - Added: 1 month, 23 days ago
| An Eskimo is fishing on the Polar ice pack at a time when there is sunshine 23hrs per day. After 18 hours his bum is numb with cold, so he packs up his catch and heads back to the igloo. He hangs up his sealskin coat, and sits down to tuck into his seal steak when his wife says: "Ingit" "What?", he says without changing his expression. "I've got some news for you." "What?", he says through clenched teeth. "Your mother-in-law's slipped on the ice, and broken her hip." Again his expression doesn't change, he picks up a frozen herring, reaches across the table, and smacks his wife on the side of her head with it. "WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR?" she said, aghast, picking herself up off the floor. "I've told you before, don't make me laugh when I've got chapped lips!" | |
Joke by hussar, in Jokes with no home > Eskimo - Tagged wives , lips , fish , fisherman - Current Score: 10 - Added: 1 week ago
| Love is grand. Divorce is a hundred grand. | |
Joke by cb, in Sex and shit > Divorce - Tagged love , divorce , wives , take everything - Current Score: 5 - Added: 1 week ago
| Why are there so many homes for battered wives? Because they won't fucking listen. | |
Joke by catshit, in Jokes with no home > Women - Tagged wife , wives , battered - Current Score: 1 - Added: 1 month, 26 days ago
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