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| I see a lot of women are using this site... The dinner won't cook itself you know. |    |
Joke by AS, in Sex and shit > Young girls - Tagged woman , cooking , sexist , sickipedia , kitchen , dishes - Current Score: 519 - Added: 7 months ago
| Things You Learn From Watching Porn Women wear high heels to bed. Men are never impotent. When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he fucks her. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with spunk. Women enjoy having sex with ugly middle-aged men. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blow job. Women always orgasm when men do. A blow job will always get a woman off a speeding ticket. All women are noisy fucks. People in the 70's couldn't fuck unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background. Those tits are real. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt. Men always groan 'OH YEAH' when they cum. If there is two of them they 'high five' each other. (and the girl isn't disgusted!) Double penetration makes women smile. Asian men don't exist. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth. There's a plot. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the ass. Nurses suck patients cocks. Men always pull out. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking both of you. Women never have headaches. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to 'suck it' Assholes are clean. A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's pants and find a cock there. Men don't have to beg. When standing during a blow job, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip. Pigtails = handlebars. | |
Joke by Guest, in Sex and shit > Pornography - Tagged pornos , men , women , blowjobs , sex , woman - Current Score: 412 - Added: 8 months, 22 days ago
| If a woman is uncomfortable watching you masturbate ...Do you think: (a) You need more time together, (b) She's a prude, or (c) She should sit somewhere else on the bus? | |
Joke by nahgut, in Jokes with no home > Advice - Tagged masterbating , bus , woman - Current Score: 405 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| A woman was telling her friend, "It is I who made my husband a millionaire." "And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend. The woman replied, "a billionaire". | |
Joke by mamma mia, in Sex and shit > Marriage - Tagged woman , millionaire , billionaire , marriage - Current Score: 327 - Added: 5 months, 21 days ago
| A man approached a very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and said, "I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?" The woman looked puzzled. "Why talk to me?" she asked. "Because every time I talk to a woman with tits like yours, my wife appears out of nowhere." | |
Joke by niggers out, in Sex and shit > Tits - Tagged tits , wife , supermarket , woman , mine , talk , sex - Current Score: 327 - Added: 8 months ago
| A Muslim woman knocked on my front door last night - I spoke to her through the letterbox............ See how she fucking likes it! | |
Joke by Racistbastard, in Religion and racism > indian - Tagged arab , woman , racist , muslim , burqa - Current Score: 301 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| What if God's a woman? Not only am I going to hell, I'll never know why. | |
Joke by S011, in Sex and shit > Young girls - Tagged god , woman , hell - Current Score: 296 - Added: 5 months ago
| How is a woman like a condom? Both of them spend more time in your wallet than on your dick. | |
Joke by MikeLit, in Sex and shit > Young girls - Tagged condoms , woman , wallet - Current Score: 278 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| I was in the supermarket the other day and there was a girl in front of me at the checkout, she had one apple, one pear, one toothbrush, one ready meal and one tin of soup. I leaned over and said, "You're single, aren't you?" "How can you tell?" she said, in a sarcastic tone. I said, "Because you're an ugly cunt!" | |
Joke by ht, in Sex and shit > singles - Tagged single , ugly , grocery , woman , man - Current Score: 269 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| I said "Darling, let's try something new in the bedroom... I'll get some chocolate spread, some whipped cream, and a few strawberries. "Then I'll paint my cock with the chocolate spread, and call the kids in for a 'special treat'. Then, one by one, I'll pop the strawberries up my arse, squirt cream down my crack, and while Emily deepthroats me for the last of the chocolate, Jessica can my lick my arsehole and swallow strawberries as I shit them out. "Then it'll be time to pop their cherries. I'll start with Jess cos she's already 9, she'll be a bit more developed. While I'm fucking her childish vagina, Emily can lick up the blood and get her own tiny cunt ready for a good stretching. "Then I'll finish off by banging them in the arse a couple of times before squirting my load over their pretty little faces. Shall we give it a go?" My wife looked stunned. "OVER MY DEAD BODY!" she said. I said "Fuck me you're into some weird shit" | |
Joke by storyteller, in Sex and shit > Incest - Tagged incest , necrophilia , paedophilia , virgin , aristocrats , rape , woman , cunt , death , kids , cock , paedo , fuck , arse , children , dad , daughter , sick - Current Score: 264 - Added: 1 week ago
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