Tag: women - Sickipedia

Browsing tag: women
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Women are like parking spaces, normally all the good ones are taken. So, occasionally, when no one's looking, you have to stick it in a disabled one.

Joke by eatmeat, in Sex and shit > Adultery - Tagged women , disabled , parking - Current Score: 809 - Added: 11 months ago

What's long and hard and makes women groan?

An Ironing Board.

Joke by DDJ, in Jokes with no home > random - Tagged women , ironing , hard , iron - Current Score: 465 - Added: 5 months ago

Women eh! Boob jobs, nose jobs, teeth bleaching, tummy tucks, liposuction, colonic irrigation, botox, pierced ears, nipples, bellys and clits, eyebrows plucked, bikini wax, armpits shaved, lips tattooed, legs waxed, diets, exercise and they wont take it up the arse cause it 'hurts'.

Joke by dualta13, in Sex and shit > Anal - Tagged anal sex , women - Current Score: 354 - Added: 9 months ago

Things You Learn From Watching Porn

Women wear high heels to bed.

Men are never impotent.

When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.

If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he fucks her.

Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with spunk.

Women enjoy having sex with ugly middle-aged men.

Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blow job.

Women always orgasm when men do.

A blow job will always get a woman off a speeding ticket.

All women are noisy fucks.

People in the 70's couldn't fuck unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.

Those tits are real.

A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.

Men always groan 'OH YEAH' when they cum.
If there is two of them they 'high five' each other. (and the girl isn't disgusted!)

Double penetration makes women smile.

Asian men don't exist.

If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.

There's a plot.

When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the ass.

Nurses suck patients cocks.

Men always pull out.

When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking both of you.

Women never have headaches.

When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to 'suck it'

Assholes are clean.

A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.

Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's pants and find a cock there.

Men don't have to beg.

When standing during a blow job, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.

Pigtails = handlebars.

Joke by Guest, in Sex and shit > Pornography - Tagged pornos , men , women , blowjobs , sex , woman - Current Score: 340 - Added: 4 months, 25 days ago

Why do only 15 % of women go to heaven ?

Because if they all went, it would be hell.

Joke by mamma mia, in Sex and shit > Women - Tagged women , hell , heaven - Current Score: 265 - Added: 2 weeks ago

Got home from the pub at 3 o clock this morning and the missus was waiting at the door with a rolling pin.
I said "What the fuck you doing baking at this hour?"

Joke by Nimrod, in Sex and shit > Wife - Tagged women , baking - Current Score: 263 - Added: 3 months ago

What is all the fuss about Islamic head-scarfs in schools? Surely, if you are a devout enough Muslim to want your daughter to wear the head-scarf, you would be devout enough not to want to educate women?

Joke by jos0hgmi, in Religion and racism > Muslim - Tagged muslim , women , scarf , education - Current Score: 207 - Added: 2 months ago

I was at a family gathering and I had a shocking realisation. I saw my mother-in-law, and it hit me - in 25 years time, that's what my wife will look like. But it wasn't all bad - it occured to me that, in 25 years, our young daughter will probably look like my wife does now - so there is always that option.

Joke by petejtool, in Sex and shit > Wife - Tagged wife , mother in law , ugly , sex , incest , baby , women , daughter , family - Current Score: 189 - Added: 3 weeks ago

Austrian Women are like good wine....left to mature in a cellar.

Joke by MICK THE MAG, in Celebrity and news events > Josef Fritzl - Tagged austrian , women , wine , cellar , fritzl - Current Score: 180 - Added: 2 months, 24 days ago

I got a phone call the other day from an old flame of mine. It had been years since we'd spoken and was great to catch up. We were getting on really well and she suggested that we should meet up "for old time's sake". I was well up for it, as I hadn't been getting any for a while. We arranged to meet up the following day.

Now, in truth I'd let myself go a bit over the years and so thought I'd come clean. I told her "I'm probably not quite how you remember me. I've started to go bald and have been indulging a little too much in the good life."
To which she started to giggle like a schoolgirl and then said to me, "Oh, don't worry! I've put on a few pounds myself!"
So I told her to fuck off.

Joke by smokey, in Sex and shit > Women - Tagged sexist , women - Current Score: 168 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago

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