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| Christmas is shit. Whoever invented it should be nailed to a cross. |    |
Joke by hacienda88, in Religion and racism > Jesus - Tagged christmas , cross , jesus , nailed , xmas - Current Score: 209 - Added: 11 months ago
| I always get my loved ones petrol-soaked fake moustaches for Christmas. It's such a joy to watch their faces light up! | |
Joke by lot9, in Jokes with no home > Christmas - Tagged christmas , xmas , present , gift , moustache , disguise , petrol , fire , burn , family - Current Score: 80 - Added: 10 months ago
| Mums, out of Christmas wrapping paper? Simply convert birthday wrapping paper by adding "Jesus" after "Happy Birthday. | |
Joke by rmmkkenny, in Jokes with no home > Homeless - Tagged mum , christmas , xmas , demetri martin - Current Score: 75 - Added: 6 days ago
| John, woke up after the annual office Christmas party with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening. After a trip to the bathroom, he made his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him. "Louise," he moaned, "tell me what happened last night. Was it as bad as I think?" "Even worse," she said, her voice oozing scorn. "You made a complete ass of yourself. You succeeded in antagonizing the entire board of directors and you insulted the president of the company, right to his face." "He's an asshole," John said. "Piss on him." "You did," came the reply. "And he fired you." "Well, screw him!" said John. "I did. You're back at work on Monday." | |
Joke by Holmesie, in Jokes with no home > Christmas - Tagged christmas , xmas , santa , office party - Current Score: 60 - Added: 11 months ago
| Christmas dinner at the McCanns. Gerry asks the twins "who wants stuffing?" and one turns to the other and says "it's at times like this I really miss Maddie" | |
Joke by tony.t, in Celebrity and news events > Madeleine McCann - Tagged sex and shit , abuse , death , maddie , cunts , kidnap , fucking , xmas , christmas , paedo - Current Score: 47 - Added: 1 year ago
| It's Christams day, and little Johnny has opened his presents, and has been given a train set and and an action man. He goes next door to see his friend Billy, and has a look at his presents. Wide-eyed, Johnny see his freind has been given a new BMX, a radio controlled plane, an X-box, a playstation, a 60inch plasma tv, a ride-on jeep, a DVD player, a Sky HD Box, a sailing boat, a motor-cross bike and an england football shirt and ball both signed by the entire england squad with tickets to the cup-final. Johnny says to his mate: "It's not fair, I wish I had cancer" | |
Joke by spazzy, in Illness and mortality > Children - Tagged kids , cancer , xmas , gifts , little johnny - Current Score: 41 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| What's the difference between Father Christmas and a Jew? Father Christmas goes down the chimney. | |
Joke by caliban, in Sex and shit > Big cocks - Tagged jewish , jew , holocaust , santa , racist , father , father christmas , christmas , xmas , chimney , down , up , killed , dead , hitler - Current Score: 41 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| He laid her on the table so white and clean and bare. His forehead wet with beads of sweat, he rubbed her here and there. He touched her neck and felt her breast then drooling felt her thigh. The slit was wet and all was set, he gave a joyous cry. The hole was wide, he looked inside, all was dark and murky. He rubbed his hands and stretched his arms, Then stuffed the Christmas turkey! May I be the first to wish you and your dirty little mind a very MERRY XMAS! | |
Joke by Jenna07, in Jokes with no home > Christmas - Tagged xmas , christmas , joke , sex - Current Score: 38 - Added: 10 months ago
| I saw on VH1 today that Wham's 'Last Christmas' was kept off the top of the charts in 1984 by Band Aid's 'Do They Know It's Christmas'. Must be the only time George Michael has ever been disappointed about getting into the number two slot... | |
Joke by Guest, in Celebrity and news events > George Michael - Tagged george michael , xmas , fairy , etc - Current Score: 31 - Added: 10 months ago
| What's the difference between a baby and a turkey? You can only stuff a turkey from one end. | |
Joke by Yersin, in Sex and shit > Paedophilia - Tagged paedophilia , turkey , xmas - Current Score: 12 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
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