What's the difference between the Special Olympics and the Eurovision?
Not much if you close your eyes
Germany wins Eurovision then four days later an old WWII bomb explodes "unexpectedly".
Carlsberg don't do timely reminders, but if they did....
David Moyes has promised fans of Manchester United that they will be in a major European competition next year... even if he has to write the song himself.
Well, we may not have won Eurovision, but at least we beat America.
What I've learnt from the Eurovision Song Contest;
Every immigrant wants to live here, but no one actually likes the UK.
Like listening to Borat's Greatest Hits.
Oh bloody hell, Germany will take this Eurovision win as if they've won a world war.
We'll never hear the end of this.
The Eurovision Song Contest...
Reminding us all why we're racist.
So Azerbaijan have won the Eurovision Song Contest 2011. The winning country hosts the following year's contest.
I cannot wait to see the first ever Eurovision in a Shed.
Eurovision: If I wanted to see a bunch of stupid foreigners who can't sing, I'd go to my daughters school musicals.