Are orphans allowed to watch PG movies?
Did you know that, if you watch Lord of the Rings backwards, it's a story about a little guy who gets a cool ring from a volcano and spends the rest of the film walking home...
When I was a child, my dad tried to force-feed me.
After a while, my mum said, "Just use a fucking spoon, Mike. You're not a Jedi."
Rick Astley asked me if he could borrow my collection of Pixar films.
"Okay," I said. "You can have Toy Story, Cars and Finding Nemo but I'm never gonna give you Up."
I for one, am all in favor of amalgamating film franchises, it worked for Alien and Predator. Why wouldn't it work for Twilight and Blade?
Morpheus and Neo are plugged in to the Matrix and having a chat.
Morpheus turns to Neo, "In this world you can be anything you want."
There is a short silence.
Neo: "Then why are you a nigger?"
"Now pay attention, 007; this looks like an ordinary suitcase but, if you push this button, a handle comes out and you can wheel it."
You will never guess who I just saw at the petrol station - it was that human torch guy from the Fantastic 4 film.
I tried to get his autograph but he just kept rolling around on the floor screaming.
Have you heard about that new film about the tractor?
I just saw the trailer.
Similar to Willy Wonka putting 5 golden tickets into bars of chocolate, Walkers have started a new competition where they have placed 5 crisps into their bags of air.