??? Other Jokes
If I ever get a chance to appear on daytime TV, I'm going to say:
Cunt, cunt, fuuuuck, shit!!
Cock, fuck, cuuuunt!!
Shiiitt, fuck, shiiitt, fuck!!
Cuuunt, shit, fuuuuck!!!!
That way, when they beep it out, it'll spell 'fuck' in morse code.
"Watch Back to the Future:- Tomorrow, on Yesterday"
...what the fuck?
Got kicked out of the team on "eggheads" the other day after I came head to head with CJ.
Dermot asked me if I could beat him.
"I'd love to with a shovel," wasn't the response he wanted.
I work as a postman.
The pay isn't great, but anything addressed to 'Cash 4 Gold' is a good bonus.
Hitler may have killed 6 million Jews, but he sure as fucking hell saved the History channel.
For anyone who missed Eurovision, here's what songs were played:
Iceland- Ashes to ashes
Germany- Rule the world
Portugal- I want my baby back
Israel- Harder To Breathe
U.K.- Polish national anthem
Does that meerkat understand that he's giving free publicity to ComparetheMarket.com?
Warning: This movie 'MAY' contain nudity?
Either it does or it doesn't, don't waste my fucking time.
Celebrity guest appearances everybody wants to see:
Stephen Hawking on Robot Wars
Bear grylls on I'm a celebrity get me out of here
Heather Mills on Total Wipeout
Maddie McCann on Treasure Hunt
Gary Glitter on Cbeebies
Vanessa George on Play School
Lynx: because some women aren't worth showering for.