Sitcom Jokes

Just got back from 2 months working in Asia. I can't wait to see my family and friends.

The TV is shit over there.
I was so unpopular as a child even my imaginary friend played with all the other kids.
So, Rachel Chandler has been taken hostage by Somali pirates...

Monica, Ross, Phoebe and Joey must be very upset indeed.
Sickipedia's 'one joke per hour' policy sorta reminds me of the TV show "Friends"...
Three tortoises, Mick, Andy and Roy, decide to go on a picnic.So Mick packs the picnic basket with beer and sandwiches. The trouble is the picnic site is ten miles away so it takes them ten days to get there.

When they get there Mick unpacks the food and beer. 'Ok Roy give me the bottle opener' 'I didn't bring it' says Roy. 'I thought you packed it'. Mick gets worried, He turns to Andy, 'Did you bring the bottle opener?'.

Naturally Andy didn't bring it. So they're stuck ten miles from home without a bottle opener.

Mick and Andy beg Roy to go back for it. But he refuses as he says they will eat all the sandwiches.

After two hours, and after they have sworn on their tortoise lives that they will not eat the sandwiches, he finally agrees.

So Roy sets off down the road at a steady pace. 20 days pass and he still isn't back and Mick and Andy are starving, but a promise is a promise.

Another 5 days and he still isn't back, but a promise is a promise. Finally they can't take it any longer so they take out a sandwich each, and just as they are about to eat it, Roy pops up from behind a rock and shouts.'


I KNEW IT! ...... I'M NOT FUCKING GOING.'
I was watching Friends the other day, and as the scene started I was reminded of a time when New York was graced with those two giant beacons of hope, watching over New Yorkers and standing over the world.

Does anyone else miss Jennifer Aniston's nipples?
New hit TV show "Commute" coming soon

Will be shown at prime time between "The Office" and "House"
They say the dog is man's best friend. I don't believe that.

How many of your friends have you neutered?