• 2ShinyBalls's Statistics

    • User Level:
    • User
    • This Month's Leaderboard Points:
    • 85
    • Total Contribution Points:
    • 782
    • Total Joke Score:
    • 6,627
    • Total Time Active:
    • 383 hours, 50 minutes
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Note: once generated statistics are saved and may not be re-calculated for up to 48 hours. These statistics have just been generated for you. Aren't we nice?

  • Joke Statistics

    • Total Jokes Submitted:
    • 984
    • Live Jokes:
    • 441
    • Total Deleted Jokes (including duplicates):
    • 543
    • Average Joke Score (All Jokes):
    • 6.73
    • Average Time Before Deletion:
    • 6,531m
    • Average Joke Score (Exc. Deleted):
    • 15.03
    • Duplicate Jokes:
    • 67

2ShinyBalls's Jokes

I bumped into my ex in town earlier, I said:

"How's your new bloke?"

"He's twice the man you are," she sneered, "what about your new woman?"

I said, "Thankfully she's half the woman you are, you fat cunt."
"You can tell a lot about a person by the beer they drink," I said to a bloke at the bar.

"Really?" he replied. "So what can you tell about me?"

"You're a cunt," I said.

"What makes you say that?" he asked.

I said, "That's my beer you're drinking."
I bumped into my ex wife earlier, she said:

"I haven't seen you for years, how are you?"

"Not bad" I said, "I've got a lovely flat..."

"A fucking flat" she interrupted, "I've got a three bedroom house with a garden and a garage. Carry on loser."

"Like I was saying" I smiled, "I've got a lovely, flat stomached, sexy blonde who shares my lottery winnings with me to get back to, so I haven't got time to catch up with you, you fat cunt."
"So children" said the English teacher, "as you can see, 'a' and 'the' are both articles. There's not much difference between them."

"Bullshit" Little Johnny shouted, "there's a massive difference between them."

"Oh really? Well please explain then" she replies.

He said, "when my dad's in 'a' mood, I'm in trouble. When he's in 'the' mood, I'm really fucked."