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Admiral Anus's Profile Information:

I run a very tight shit.

Admiral Anus's Statistics

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User Statistics
User Level: User
Contribution Points: 521
Total Joke Score: 4,362
Total Time Active: 251 hours, 39 minutes
Joke Statistics
Total Jokes Submitted: 1,129 Live Jokes: 347
Total Deleted Jokes (including duplicates): 782 Duplicate Jokes: 32
Average Joke Score (All Jokes): 3.86 Average Joke Score (Exc. Deleted): 12.57
Average Time Before Deletion: 3,157m
Favourite Subcategory Other > Wordplay (36)

The best of Admiral Anus's 347 jokes (View All).
1123342
I've spent the day in a German police station. Word to the wise...

Don't go hailing a taxi in Germany like you do in Britain. 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by Admiral Anus in Racism - German - Added: 7 months ago - Current Score: 244.8

1117195
Hard luck Wales. Although any country that has my mother-in-law on their flag deserve all they get. I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by Admiral Anus in In The News - Sports Headlines - Added: 7 months ago - Current Score: 222.8

1080692
BBC News: Man 'hid partner's body in case'

In case of what? Don't keep us in suspense. 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by Admiral Anus in In The News - Headlines - Added: 8 months ago - Current Score: 219.6

1219935
Let's get one thing clear.

My internet history before the wife gets back. 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by Admiral Anus in Sex and shit - Pornography - Added: 3 months ago - Current Score: 206.6

1177340
Having decorated my Christmas tree with little golliwogs hanging from the branches. A policeman knocked on the door saying there'd been a complaint, as they found it racially offensive.

"In which case officer, I'll take them down at once."

"That's very understanding of you, Sir."

"I was referring to whoever made the complaint." 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by Admiral Anus in Racism - Black - Added: 5 months ago - Current Score: 175.4

1183353
I said to my mate, "Bet you can't guess how much I won at the bookies yesterday?"

He chuckled, "Go on then, put me out of my misery."

So I shot his wife. 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by Admiral Anus in Other - Misunderstanding - Added: 5 months ago - Current Score: 170.8

1266768
Just seen a Korean bloke out in the sun taking his dog for a walk.

Probably warming his dinner up. 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by Admiral Anus in Racism - Korean - Added: 1 month ago - Current Score: 169

1074726
Keira Knightley has been sacked from her job as tea lady.

Apparently, she couldn't fill the cups. 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by Admiral Anus in Sex and shit - Breasts (+ 1 more) - Added: 9 months ago - Current Score: 166.8

1224318
You're everything I've ever wanted in a woman ..

.. I said to my erect penis. 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by Admiral Anus in Sex and shit - Penis - Added: 3 months ago - Current Score: 166.4

1175484
North Korea: haven't seen so much fake crying since I caught a reflection of myself at the mother-in-law's funeral. I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by Admiral Anus in In The News - North Korea - Added: 5 months ago - Current Score: 151.4


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