Biscuit777's Profile Information:
Some of my shite can now also be seen on Twitter @SickiBiscuit777
Biscuit777's Statistics
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User Statistics
| User Level: | User | ||
| Contribution Points: | 1962 | ||
| Total Joke Score: | 78,852 | ||
| Total Time Active: | 1,291 hours, 27 minutes | ||
The best of Biscuit777's 924 jokes (View All).
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I saw CountDown yesterday. He's Dracula's spastic brother. |
 
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Joke
by Biscuit777 in Illness and mortality - Down Syndrome - Added: 1 year, 7 months ago - Current Score: 3,217.2
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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "It's me Mummy... It's Maddie!" "But... But it can't be... We buried you..." "Yeah, I'm just fucking about. It's Gerry, I forgot my key." |
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When my girlfriend said she was leaving because of my obsession with The Monkees, I thought she was joking. And then I saw her face. |
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I came home from work early one night to find my wife and my best mate, sweaty and breathless in the living room. I said, "What's going on?" My wife said, "Erm... We've been playing on the Wii Fit." She winked at my mate and said, "Dave did VERY well." As I walked out of the room, I heard them giggling and calling me a "dickhead", but I had the last laugh. I checked the next day, and none of his scores had even registered! |
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Joke
by Biscuit777 in Sex and shit - Adultery - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago - Current Score: 2,079.6
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When I was a child, my dad tried to force-feed me. After a while, my mum said, "Just use a fucking spoon, Mike. You're not a Jedi." |
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I went to a party last night. I thought I looked pretty smart, but some Jewish cunt said, "The '70s called... They want their shirt back!" I said, "The '40s called... Your shower's ready." |
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I got so sick of the trick or treaters at Halloween that I turned the lights out and pretended I wasn't in. Fuck the ships. My lighthouse, my rules. |
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I was watching the news with my wife last night. "It looks like the Kaiser Chiefs were right," I said. "Yeah, very funny," she replied. "I Predict A Riot." I said, "No... Everyday I Love You Less And Less." |
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I've just received a text from my girlfriend that reads: "Hello birthday boy. When you get home from work, there'll be a hot bath waiting for you. When you've finished, come into the bedroom and I'll suck you dry ;)" Fuck that, it'll take ages. I'll just use a towel. |
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Joke
by Biscuit777 in Other - Misunderstanding - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago - Current Score: 1,133.8
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My sexy neighbour has left her curtains open slightly, so I'm watching her masturbate with my telescope. I can't see very well, though. If only I had my telescope. |
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