• Craig.M's Statistics

    • User Level:
    • User
    • This Month's Leaderboard Points:
    • 0
    • Total Contribution Points:
    • 927
    • Total Joke Score:
    • 20,464
    • Total Time Active:
    • 419 hours, 44 minutes
  • Favorite
  • Message

Note: once generated statistics are saved and may not be re-calculated for up to 48 hours. These statistics have just been generated for you. Aren't we nice?

  • Joke Statistics

    • Total Jokes Submitted:
    • 1,309
    • Live Jokes:
    • 186
    • Total Deleted Jokes (including duplicates):
    • 1,123
    • Average Joke Score (All Jokes):
    • 15.63
    • Average Time Before Deletion:
    • 19,657m
    • Average Joke Score (Exc. Deleted):
    • 110.02
    • Duplicate Jokes:
    • 82

Craig.M's Jokes

My girlfriend and I went to a restaurant for dinner. It was a nice meal and we were ordering dessert. I asked the waiter how much the pie was.

"£3.14 sir." he replied.

"That's funny." I chuckled.

"What's that sir?" he asked.

"That Downs syndrome boy just tried to hug a heater and burnt himself."

We both had a good laugh.
"Can you tie a knot?"

"I cannot."

"So you can knot?"

"No, I cannot knot."

"Not knot?"

"Who's there?"

"Fuck off!"