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|This month's Leaderboard points:||0|
|Total Joke Score:||20,430|
|Total Time Active:||419 hours, 35 minutes|
My girlfriend and I went to a restaurant for dinner. It was a nice meal and we were ordering dessert. I asked the waiter how much the pie was.
"£3.14 sir." he replied.
"That's funny." I chuckled.
"What's that sir?" he asked.
"That Downs syndrome boy just tried to hug a heater and burnt himself."
We both had a good laugh.
I opened a company selling landmines that look like prayer mats.
Prophets are going through the roof.
I always sleep naked. It's just more comfortable.
This stewardess can fuck off. I don't care if there are young children on the plane.
"Can you tie a knot?"
"So you can knot?"
"No, I cannot knot."
It's true that sometimes your name matches what you do.
Stephen Ireland - played football for Ireland
Jason Scotland - played football in Scotland
Scott Speed - NASCAR driver
Tiger Woods - golfer
Cardinal Sin - Filipino archbishop of Manilla
Usain Bolt - fastest person in the world
God only knows what I’ll do. What does the future hold for Pete O' Fyle?