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DDJ's Statistics

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User Level: User
Contribution Points: 2 Total Joke Score: 5,970
Country:   Total Time Active: 1 hours, 59 minutes
Total Jokes Submitted: 116 Live Jokes: 45
Total Deleted Jokes (including duplicates): 71 Duplicate Jokes: 44
Average Joke Score (All Jokes): 51.47 Average Joke Score (Exc. Deleted): 132.67


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The best of DDJ's 45 jokes (View All)
What's long and hard and makes women groan?

An Ironing Board.
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Joke by DDJ in Sex and shit - Women (+ 1 more) - Added: 2 years, 7 months ago - Current Score: 906

What's green and smells like yellow paint?

Green Paint.
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Joke by DDJ in Other - Stupid - Added: 2 years, 11 months ago - Current Score: 855.8

I was reading about Shannon Matthews' mum earlier today, that she's got 7 kids by 5 different fathers. Personally, I think that's fucking disgusting...

I mean, what man would want to shag her twice?
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Joke by DDJ in In The News - Karen Matthews - Added: 2 years, 6 months ago - Current Score: 559.6

An Irish family have frozen to death outside a theatre in Dublin.

They had been queuing for three weeks to see Closed For The Winter.
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Joke by DDJ in Racism - Irish - Added: 2 years, 10 months ago - Current Score: 387.6

There's just two things that I absolutely cannot stand in the work place: gender discrimination, and women. I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by DDJ in Sex and shit - Women - Added: 2 years, 0 months ago - Current Score: 302.2

Jewish man takes his wife to hospital, she has 2 black eyes, no teeth and a broken nose.

Doctor says, "What happened?"

Jew replies, "She was going through the change."

"What? The change? This doesn't happen in the change!"

"It does when it's in my fucking pocket!"
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Joke by DDJ in Crime - Domestic Violence (+ 2 more) - Added: 2 years, 6 months ago - Current Score: 297.2

Everybody try this - type 'Smirnoff' into your phone using predictive text and see what word it comes up with.

About right if you ask me.
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Joke by DDJ in Illness and mortality - Alcohol And Drugs - Added: 1 year, 8 months ago - Current Score: 289.8

It's quite ironic that people with club feet generally aren't very good at dancing. I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by DDJ in Other - Irony - Added: 2 years, 0 months ago - Current Score: 232.8

Paddy and Mick are in a two-man plane that is spiralling out of control.

Mick says, "If the plane turns upside down, d'ya think we'll fall out?"

"Of course not," Paddy replies, "we've been mates for years!"
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Joke by DDJ in Racism - Irish - Added: 2 years, 7 months ago - Current Score: 225

I'm a virgin for religious reasons...

the reason being that God made me so ugly that no-one will shag me.
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Joke by DDJ in Sex and shit - Virginity - Added: 1 year, 9 months ago - Current Score: 205.4

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