| User Level: | User | ||
| Contribution Points: | 1 | Total Joke Score: | 5,516 |
| Country: |
United kingdom 
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Total Time Active: | 1 hours, 29 minutes |
| Total Jokes Submitted: | 113 | Live Jokes: | 45 |
| Total Deleted Jokes (including duplicates): | 68 | Duplicate Jokes: | 41 |
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The best of DDJ's 45 jokes (View All)
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What's long and hard and makes women groan? An Ironing Board. |
 
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Joke by DDJ in Sex and shit - Women (+ 2 more) - Added: 2 years, 1 month ago
- Current Score: 858.8
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What's green and smells like yellow paint? Green Paint. |
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I was reading about Shannon Matthews' mum earlier today, that she's got 7 kids by 5 different fathers. Personally, I think that's fucking disgusting... I mean, what man would want to shag her twice? |
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Joke by DDJ in Celebrities - Karen Matthews - Added: 2 years, 0 months ago
- Current Score: 552.8
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An Irish family have frozen to death outside a theatre in Dublin. They had been queuing for three weeks to see Closed For The Winter. |
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| There's just two things that I absolutely cannot stand in the work place: gender discrimination, and women. |
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Joke by DDJ in Sex and shit - Women - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago
- Current Score: 295.6
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Everybody try this - type 'Smirnoff' into your phone using predictive text and see what word it comes up with. About right if you ask me. |
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Joke by DDJ in Other - Alcohol and Drugs - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
- Current Score: 263.8
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Jewish man takes his wife to hospital, she has 2 black eyes, no teeth and a broken nose. Doctor says, "What happened?" Jew replies, "She was going through the change." "What? The change? This doesn't happen in the change!" "It does when it's in my fucking pocket!" |
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Joke by DDJ in Crime - Domestic Violence - Added: 2 years, 0 months ago
- Current Score: 255.6
| It's quite ironic that people with club feet generally aren't very good at dancing. |
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I'm a virgin for religious reasons... the reason being that God made me so ugly that no-one will shag me. |
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Joke by DDJ in Sex and shit - Virginity - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
- Current Score: 200.4
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Joe took his blind date to the carnival.
"What would you like to do first, Kim?" asked Joe. "I want to get weighed," she said. They ambled over to the weight guesser. He guessed 120 pounds. She got on the scale; it read 117 and she won a prize. Next, the couple went on the Ferris Wheel. When the ride was over, Joe again asked Kim what she would like to do. "I want to get weighed," she said. Back to the weight g [...] |
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Joke by DDJ in Sex and shit - Sex - Added: 2 years, 4 months ago
- Current Score: 189.4
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