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| User Level: | User | ||
| Contribution Points: | 2 | Total Joke Score: | 5,970 |
| Country: |
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Total Time Active: | 1 hours, 59 minutes |
| Total Jokes Submitted: | 116 | Live Jokes: | 45 |
| Total Deleted Jokes (including duplicates): | 71 | Duplicate Jokes: | 44 |
| Average Joke Score (All Jokes): | 51.47 | Average Joke Score (Exc. Deleted): | 132.67 |
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The best of DDJ's 45 jokes (View All)
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What's long and hard and makes women groan? An Ironing Board. |
 
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What's green and smells like yellow paint? Green Paint. |
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I was reading about Shannon Matthews' mum earlier today, that she's got 7 kids by 5 different fathers. Personally, I think that's fucking disgusting... I mean, what man would want to shag her twice? |
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An Irish family have frozen to death outside a theatre in Dublin. They had been queuing for three weeks to see Closed For The Winter. |
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| There's just two things that I absolutely cannot stand in the work place: gender discrimination, and women. |
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Jewish man takes his wife to hospital, she has 2 black eyes, no teeth and a broken nose. Doctor says, "What happened?" Jew replies, "She was going through the change." "What? The change? This doesn't happen in the change!" "It does when it's in my fucking pocket!" |
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Joke by DDJ in Crime - Domestic Violence (+ 2 more) - Added: 2 years, 6 months ago
- Current Score: 297.2
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Everybody try this - type 'Smirnoff' into your phone using predictive text and see what word it comes up with. About right if you ask me. |
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Joke by DDJ in Illness and mortality - Alcohol And Drugs - Added: 1 year, 8 months ago
- Current Score: 289.8
| It's quite ironic that people with club feet generally aren't very good at dancing. |
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Paddy and Mick are in a two-man plane that is spiralling out of control. Mick says, "If the plane turns upside down, d'ya think we'll fall out?" "Of course not," Paddy replies, "we've been mates for years!" |
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I'm a virgin for religious reasons... the reason being that God made me so ugly that no-one will shag me. |
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