Dog Botherer's Statistics
My old, largely unused account is DogBot.
I mostly use Sickipedia as a means to boost my fragile self esteem by seeking the approval of anonymous strangers on the internet.
This Month's Leaderboard Points:
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Total Time Active:
569 hours, 24 minutes
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Dog Botherer's Jokes
My wife asked me to bring home some stuff for the pancakes yesterday.
She wasn't happy when I came back with a push up bra.
Both my next door neighbours have been arrested as part of the European-wide raids against online paedophiles.
Fuck knows where I'm going to get my free wi-fi now.
We shouldn't assume that the Woolwich killers are somehow representative of all Muslims, because they certainly are not.
Most Muslims are far too busy running paedophile gangs to even contemplate terrorism.
As a struggling actor I was thrilled when my agent phoned with an audition.
"The part's made for you," he said. "They want someone your age, height and build with an accent like yours, and it's being filmed about 5 minutes from your house."
"It sounds perfect!" I replied excitedly. "What is it?"
"It's a Crimewatch rape reconstruction."
"Erm... No... I'm busy that day..."
Every Christmas I'd come running downstairs to the big pile of presents and start unwrapping them as fast as I could. Sometimes there would be fights over who had the best toys but we would all make up later and sit down to have a three hour lunch before watching TV for the rest of the day.
I really miss working at the Royal Mail sorting office. 97